YOUR RAINFOREST MIND

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If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb?

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photo courtesy of Gary Higbee

People may have told you that you were smart. But you may not feel smart. Why? Because you graduated from college with a 2.65 grade point average after changing your major 5 times. Why? Because you never finish any of the projects you start. Why? Because you can’t decide what color to paint the bedroom and it’s been three years. Why? Because you still daydream all the time and forget to tie your shoes. Why? Because you haven’t won the Nobel Prize. In fact, you haven’t won anything except the spelling bee in third grade. Why? Because you still cry when you gaze at the stars. Why? Because you know how much you don’t know.

Let me explain. It’s complicated.

1. If you have multiple interests and abilities (multipotentiality), you may want to study many topics and not want to narrow yourself down to one field. One day you’re fascinated by marine biology and the next by philosophy. How do you choose?

2. Perhaps, college was the first time you were challenged academically. You didn’t know how to study and you couldn’t stop yourself from procrastinating, so your grades suffered.

3. You love learning new things and once you learn what you need, it’s time to move on. This may mean that certain projects don’t look complete even though they are complete for you.

4. You have very high standards for your work. If you’re feeling pressure to be perfect, you abandon a project because you feel paralyzed.

5. You’re very sensitive to color so it really matters what colors you live with. Decisions, in general, are hard because you can think of way too many possibilities.

6. Daydreaming still gets a bad rap and you believed what your teachers told you about it. Some of my best friends are daydreamers. And who has time to tie their shoes?

7. Winning has never been your objective.

8. Crying gets a bad rap, especially if you’re a male. But you see the incredible beauty in the sky and are amazed.

People may have told you that you were smart. You may not feel so smart. That’s OK. Nobody said living with a rainforest mind was going to be easy.

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Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

183 responses to “If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb?”

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  1. Harland Avatar
    Harland

    Wow, sure hit the nail on the head on that one. This is pretty much exactly me. I never really learned how to study and I always just end up procrastinating. So much for my Data Structures, Algorithms, and Analysis Midterm tomorrow. I probably should just try a little bit harder, but I find life a lot more enjoyable, and relaxing when I just do the things that I want to do. I’ve came to the conclusion, that’s just who I am. I’m fine with not doing my best, and not always coming first. Great article!

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Thanks, Harland. I hope it’s helpful. I recently wrote another post on this topic. If you haven’t seen it, you can find it here: https://yourrainforestmindbbwpc.wpcomstaging.com/2015/10/09/if-im-so-smart-why-am-i-so-dumb-part-two/

      Reply
  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    HI I am Aman jain i am 22 years old and right now i am studying engineering the thing is that i think i am stupid but everybody thinks i am smart to be honest sometimes i feel like i am smart like at the time when i give new ideas to the people to improve their productivity at work place and i have tons of new exciting ideas but the thing is that i am not good in studies i tried to master the calculus but i failed i love engineering but you know i cant produce the new ideas in theoretical engineering as the same rate i produce ideas in other field

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Hi Aman. Sometimes really smart people don’t realize how smart they are. And they think if they don’t understand something very quickly (calculus?) that they shouldn’t be doing it. That may or may not be true. It can be fine if something takes more time to learn, especially if you love it. Not everything will come easily, even if you’re gifted. It’s good to have to work hard to learn something, it can improve your brain!! Other blog posts say more about this. Keep reading! And thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  3. Leonardo Neto Avatar
    Leonardo Neto

    I feel depressed because I know I’m smarter then other people I know but still I’ve never done anything great. And I feel that even if I start now I’ll never recover the time I’ve already lost. Sometimes I just wanna kill myself instead of dealing with a life that can’t be about fun at least most of the time. I don’t wanna accept things I wanna be happy. Until college if you could do tasks other people can’t you’re recognized by it. Now seens that everyone can do the things they ask me to do with effort so I don’t see any point on doing things other people can do.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      It’s never too late to start, Leonardo. Never too late. It can be hard to get going, though, if you grew up very smart and praised for it and then now, you don’t feel special anymore. That can be one of the challenges for someone gifted. It sounds like you would benefit from talking with someone. There’s a list of therapists who specialize in giftedness on this post: https://yourrainforestmindbbwpc.wpcomstaging.com/2015/08/27/how-to-find-a-psychotherapist-who-loves-your-rainforest-mind/ Thanks for sharing and take care of yourself!

      Reply
  4. Tamer Avatar
    Tamer

    ..uhm so where does this place you? if you are fitting or kind of fitting into the description ..are you smart or just different? I may have already understood it but I need people to just say it clear sometimes for some reason

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Hi Tamer. I’m not sure what you’re asking. One idea would be for you to read more of the posts. You might get clarity that way. What I’m saying here, basically, is that people with rainforest minds are very smart and that makes them different from others who might not have the same level of cognitive abilities. But they also have many other traits that make them different from the norm. So you’re both smart AND different. I hope that helps.

      Reply
  5. Bradley Avatar
    Bradley

    I’m a senior in highschool and I hate high school. I love the friends and the great times but I find myself in constant frustrations and stress. I’ve been told by teachers all through grade school that I’m as smart as they come and the standardized test show it to but the classroom is boring and I can’t help but day dream and when I can’t do something perfectly like how I invision it I give up. I procrastinate by cleaning my bathroom and room so I don’t feel as guilty. I’ve always made barely decent grades but I’ve amazed all of my teachers at times. I’m a very science and math engineered based mind. But I feel slow. I feel as if when I get the job I want In the future as an engineer I will excel but being stuck in a room going through a text book with 25 students kills me. Ive been told college will be a million times easier, I’ve also been told it will be a million times harder. Nobody thinks I try and sometimes I just don’t because it’s not worth it to me. I feel stuck here and I feel as if I will be free when i graduate. I’ve been diagnosed with add but I don’t really believe in it I think that’s just how my mind works I’ve tried the medicine it drives me crazy. But I can relate to your blog and it’s very comforting. Thanks.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Bradley. I’m so glad that you find my blog comforting. What you describe here is often what I hear from the gifted kids that I’ve seen. People make assumptions about you if they can see that you’re smart and that you test well and sometimes they don’t understand why such a smart person would feel stress and frustration in school. If it would help, you could show my blog to your parents and talk with them about how you feel. If you go to http://www.giftedhomeschoolers.org and http://www.hoagiesgifted.org and look for the blog hops, you’ll find many articles on various topics around gifted kids in general and schooling in particular that you might relate to. Also this blog–http://crushingtallpoppies.com is a good resource for you and your parents. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.

      Reply
  6. shebeeste Avatar
    shebeeste

    “Because you graduated from college with a 2.65 grade point average after changing your major 5 times.” Hey, I resemble that remark! You forgot about the 5 (or was it 6) different colleges. 🙂

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Ah yes, how could I forget?

      Reply
  7. Charvel Avatar
    Charvel

    Thank you for the quick reply, and I apologize for the harshness of my first post. I was feeling very negative and angry about something at work and was looking for a release. I was not trying to make your work and research seem illegitimate either. Thank you very much for posting this, as it has already helped me tremendously.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      No problem, Charvel. I appreciated hearing your thoughts. So glad I can help.

      Reply
  8. Charvel Avatar
    Charvel

    I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m dumb as someone who fits you’re exact characterization. Yes, I feel exactly the way you described, but I feel this may be ego-stroking for those that are truly dumb, not “gifted”. What proof shows that this personality type is of higher intellect?

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Charvel. Thanks for the question. I suppose that some people with the traits I’m describing may not be gifted. Certainly there are sensitive, intense, emotional perfectionists who don’t have higher intellect. I don’t have scientific proof to share with you. What I’m saying is purely anecdotal based on 30+ years of working with gifted folks and also from reading the literature on giftedness and talking with my colleagues. But your skepticism is appreciated. The personality type I’m describing always includes a capacity for analytical thinking and creative thinking that is greater than the norm but I’m speaking as a counselor. I’m not actually using test data. What I’d suggest is that you keep reading and if you continue to feel that you fit with the traits and experiences I describe, that you consider that you may be smarter than you think.

      Reply
  9. K.C. Avatar
    K.C.

    Thanks for the post. I seriously don’t get it–my peers and teachers say I’m smart. My friends call me a genius for being a 15 year old in the 11th grade who’s going to graduate at 16. My parents call me intelligent for apparently having High IQ marks, even though I know the IQ test isn’t exactly useful or a helpful measure of future success. I nearly failed seventh grade and my first year of high school, I loathe algebra and chemistry, I was two percent away from failing Language for three years even if I’m an avid reader. My parents are great, but they insist I go to college as soon as I graduate even though I don’t know what to major in. I have all these ideas but I either never get to them or finish them. I procrastinate a LOT, though that’s just a trait (nowadays I still get A’s and B’s thanks to an awesome Math/Science teacher) and people either call me impassive or too touchy (I now go to a tiny school with the nicest people, who happen to be casually and horribly misinformed sort of racist and bigoted. For the most part they’re just comparatively sheltered.) I have the lowest grades in a family of affluent overachievers, I put off work, I day dream, I make up stories in my head, I disapprove of the American education system, I don’t adjust well (it took me three years to adjust to moving back to my birth country, and I still miss my host one), skipping two grades was a nightmare, and I get easily frustrated and impatient with most people. Even after reading this article I still don’t think I’m the unmotivated intellectual everyone seems to think I am-I just think a lot, read a ton, and enjoy my alone time. But it’s helped me understand some things, and it’s nice to know other people feel the same way as I do. So again, thank you.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks for writing, K.C. and keep reading because I’ll be writing more about what you’re describing here. You also might want to check out the blog hops at hoagiesgifted.org and at giftedhomeschoolers.org. Many of those bloggers are writing about their gifted kids and issues at school. Also http://giftedchallenges.blogspot.com is a blog that you (and other readers here) might find helpful.

      Reply
  10. James Avatar
    James

    Somebody putting me on paper sort of hit me harder then the usual drivel i see online.
    Thanks

    Reply
  11. Medo Avatar
    Medo

    nice article it’s quiet master piece for my suffer i always been fascinated by alot of things like math,physics, computer science and biology i didn’t know what to choose ,i found my self lagging in university cause i did not know how to study and i went so deep in the subjects i loved to learn a lot since childhood ,reading this article really matched a lot of me.
    thanks

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      I’m glad it was helpful, Medo. Thanks for letting me know.

      Reply
  12. Clyder Avatar
    Clyder

    So, if that describes me, what do I do about it. The world clearly does not want people like me. How do we square pegs fit in without loosing our minds?

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Good question, Clyder. That’s what my blog is all about. Hopefully, you’ll find some answers here along with other resources you can access. Thanks for asking.

      Reply
  13. joy Avatar
    joy

    I just… wanted the world to hear my sorrows I guess 🙂
    I just went through a process where I finally feel like I don’t NEED other people. It was great. I left the room and didn’t feel guilty, I sat in silence and didn’t feel called on to speak. I didn’t go home after school wondering if I said the right things, if someone needed help, if I presented myself correctly… I went home and was like “Great, ME time! I get to play piano, write, draw, read, play with my younger siblings,” its great. But I still have one tie that I can’t shake. My second cousin who always watches out for me, always gives me the best compliments in the world, is too good to throw away. But its so painful to keep connected 🙁 I never know if I’ve said the right things. And I just had an e-mail conversation where I felt really stupid. And I care too much.
    I don’t like feeling stupid. I’ve always felt like I have great potential. Like I could really… really shoot far, and I really really want to. But between mixing up Thursdays and avoiding Math I feel like an idiot.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hearing your sorrows, Joy. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  14. If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb? | Creative Passages

    […] If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb?. […]

    Reply
  15. If I’m So Smart, Why Am I So Stressed Out? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] You’re smart. Shouldn’t you know better? […]

    Reply
  16. Raag Avatar
    Raag

    This is my first time commenting on anything online, but this spoke to me so much that I felt I had to. I’m a senior at a prestigious college, and everything you said speaks to me. I’ve been told that I’m too much of a generalist, so I’ve had the tenacity to double major and minor (pure math, economics and computer science): subjects which are interesting to me but often take a lot of effort. I thought that continually challenging myself would force me to grow, but I’ve almost reached the point of burnout. I’m always drawn to interdisciplinary work, and I often can’t focus enough to code up a program without thinking about it ties into something else I’ve studied. And I’m sensitive to sound rather than color, but in a very similar way. I hope that someday I can find something that makes full use of my unique set of abilities.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      I appreciate your taking the time to comment, Raag. I helps me to see how my writing is having an impact and also what I might write about in the future. I hope you’ll continue to follow my blog so that you can see how some of your challenges are rooted in your giftedness. Certainly, your rainforest mind would be drawn to interdisciplinary work–so many connections from many different directions. And complex sensitivities. Thank you!

      Reply
  17. Carl Avatar
    Carl

    I was sent a link without description to this blog from my sister and the first post I read hit me like a brick. Thank you for reminding me that I can be warm and open, I’ve missed it. I will read more tomorrow.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Welcome to my blog, Carl. I look forward to hearing from you.

      Reply
  18. Tony Avatar
    Tony

    Im stuck and immensely confused
    I have lots of fact, lots of information but im quite thick
    can someone help explain why I know lots of things even skills and can apply them to life but im so stupid

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Tony. I’m sorry about your confusion. It can be hard to know what’s at the root of your feeling “stupid.” Maybe reading more of my blog will help. Or perhaps you could get assistance sorting things out by meeting with a counselor. All the best to you.

      Reply
  19. name undisclosed Avatar
    name undisclosed

    so how do i deal with it…

    id rather be normal than this. i want to fit in.

    im a genius. but i hate it…

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Many gifted folks tell me that they’d rather be “normal.” There can be so many challenges and people don’t understand how you might be suffering, as a smart person. A good book that could help is The Gifted Adult by Jacobsen. That might be a place to start. Also, accepting that you likely won’t fit in, in a traditional sense, but that you can start looking for other gifted individuals by doing things that you love and using your intuition to find them there. Hopefully, my blog will help you feel less alone. Thank you for sharing.

      Reply
  20. Jim J Avatar
    Jim J

    When I was in late primary school I discovered that I could process a lot of written information in a very short period of time. This made me lazy. I ended up (but also because of other reasons) with (little better) than average grades when I graduate from high school. Sure, my grades were well above the national average but you get the point. For some reason I managed to “sneak” into an elite college through a transfer from a better than average college. I continued to do the same thing in college. I could buy the literature one day before an exam and still pass, although seldom score higher than average. We talk about processing thousands of pages. This continued into graduate school (but also for other reasons) were I could “pass” with very little effort. All “simple” (at my level of course) texts I can process rapidly. Still, when I face the most simple mathematics problem (like 4×9) it takes me maybe ten seconds process it and more complex problems (high school mathematics or above) takes a lot of more time. My “SAT”-scores are terrible because I had a hard time to solve mathematics problems rapidly although I can solve them. I still count on my fingers like a child.

    I find it difficult to process a text in for example philosophy in were you have to remember a chain of detailed arguments. I talk of course about higher academic and complex texts and in English which is my second language. I speak three languages. When I started working after graduate school (at a government research institution) I had a hard time to take in entirely new and complex information. I wasn’t smart enough to respond to detailed questions and in particular such questions under pressure. I could read a report (rapidly of course) but I never really remembered longer chains of the inter-connected details. I got the same result when I “slow-read” the same texts. When I did my “SAT” I had the same problem when it came to reading. I found it difficult to answer direct and detailed questions although I could read it through fast and remember the overall content. When I was little (and even today) I hated to read aloud and then be asked about the details – because all my “brain-power” went into being as clear as possible and not into remembering the text. When I process a text I read it very fast but I reread it two or three times. I often remember it better (and for some strange reason fairly detailed) after a good night sleep. I think one of the reasons why I could do so well in college and later graduate school “with so little effort” is that you never really need to know details other than in the economics, public policy and statistics courses, which I for some insane reason passed with little effort. Mostly, you just have to remember the “big scheme” of things and fill in the rest with common sense.

    It took one or two years more to learn how to read and write than my peers. I was investigated for dyslexia when I was a child. The speech therapist found nothing, my reading (aloud) was well above normal but I had a problem to “remember” details when reading. My writing skills were normal but and I did forget binding words and created a bit strange sentences although my spelling was above average. I also did an IQ-test. I remember I scored around 105-110 points (IQ), which was of course standardized for children. I was apparently one of those cases were they couldn’t tell if I had dyslexia. My building of sentences (under extreme pressure) is still pretty lousy and I can for some reason not see my linguistic errors if I don’t come back to them a day or two after I have written it. When I read children’s books for my four year old daughter (cool to be first time parent by the way) I cannot remember details even after I just finished it. For example: I can remember that there is a ball but not what color the ball had or I remember a color but not what object it was placed on. Another strange thing is that I read five pages and just forgot what the first page as about when I reach the fifth page. Then, after a good night sleep I remember what was written on all those five pages.

    When it comes rapidly summarize and categorize large quantities of information I do well (and I do it faster than much people) but not when it comes to remembering and following a chain complex inter-connected thoughts. I’m not very good at learning a high-demanding new field like a new statistical method or some make-no-sense policy-process theory. Im not very creative when new complex problems emerge if I cannot connect it to previous knowledge or common sense (a trait people in my field of work seem to lack)- Frankly, I don’t know what is wrong with me.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Jim. I just noticed this comment. I must have missed it when it came in. So sorry that I didn’t reply. It’s hard to know what’s going on from your description here. Sometimes, folks who are gifted also have learning disabilities or other issues that complicate things so their intellect is less obvious. They may not test well. Or their abilities may be uneven. That could be your situation. I hope my posts will help you sort through some of this. I won’t be writing much about what’s called 2e or twice exceptionality, though, but you could google the term to find out more about it and see if any of the descriptions fit for you. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

      Reply
  21. John Avatar
    John

    I just put the following into Google search and FACEBOOK’s “What’s on your mind” for fun.

    “I was just going to post what’s on my mind, but I decided it was stupid; so I’m not going to do it”.

    Any Ideas?

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      John. I’m not sure what you’re asking.

      Reply
  22. Brittney Avatar
    Brittney

    Wow! This explains me sooo well! So glad I found this <3

    Reply
  23. Franca Avatar
    Franca

    I have never been diagnosed as gifted although I have may of the symptoms of giftedness. It’s so hard to rap my head around the fact that I am smart cause I most certainly don’t feel smart. The reason I have even entertained this gifted issue is because my son’s teacher has asked me to get him tested specifically for giftedness . At the moment I’m contemplating getting assessed myself simply because I have a burning desire to find out what the hell is wrong with me. I’ve done some of the free on line tests and sometimes they result in below average intelligence and sometimes the result is boarder line giftedness. People and teacher have always tell me that I could do much better or that I’m smart but I don’t see it. I would like to give an example of what happened to me yesterday when I went to the doctor (things like this happened to me all the time) . I saw a Dr. At a walk in clinic because my ear was hurting . He looked at my ear and said you have inflammation & I’m going to give you drops. I asked him what kind of drops an antibiotic & cortisone for inflammation , the Dr. Said yes how do you know what is your profession . I told him I read a lot especially about medical issues. The Dr was in awh . I told him I am a makeup artist but I should have been a Dr. This kind of stuff happenes to me all the time. For me I just think how could you not know that doesn’t everyone know that. Im rambling on now so will say good bye and any insight would be appreciated .

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Franca. I’ve known many people who discover their own giftedness after learning that their children are gifted. Online tests aren’t great for identifying intelligence. Even tests by psychologists don’t always find everyone—especially the more creative or sensitive or anxious, or people who grow up in poverty or trauma. Your statement “how could you not know that” is telling. “Knowing” comes easily to you? That’s a clue. And because it’s easy, you naturally assume it’s easy for everyone. It’s not. I’m guessing you’ll continue to learn more about yourself as you help your son. Thank you for writing!

      Reply
  24. ichan Avatar
    ichan

    thank you so much paula.. perhaps i have to find the right person ican share with.

    Reply
  25. ichan Avatar
    ichan

    I have good mark in my school, but my family think that i’m so dumb, they said that i dont have any logical though nor any feeling to combine. i started to hated my self, i really want to tell the world that ‘hey not only you who hated myself, but I hated myself more than you hated myself!” i can memorize lessons in my school and i can pass examination with good mark. but when i come to the real world, i have to think longer than other(especially my family) and i have very different point of view with my family. what i have to do? i dont know how to increase the gared of smarteness in myself, then i feel anxiety and confuse everytime i face problem in the real world. i’m so dumb.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      It sounds like you have some difficult challenges, ichan. It’s not always clear what intelligence is and people often disagree. I’m sorry that you don’t feel very smart. Perhaps there’s someone you can talk with who will help you sort this out. A counselor or a good friend? All the best to you.

      Reply
  26. realmindcontrolpower.xtrememind.com Avatar
    realmindcontrolpower.xtrememind.com

    I think this is among the most important info for me. And i am happy reading your article.
    However want to commentary on some common issues, The web site taste is ideal,
    the articles is truly great : D. Good job, cheers

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thank you!

      Reply
  27. Paniz Avatar
    Paniz

    Hi and thank you for your amazing article. If this does describe me what is the next step? How can i help my self to have a better life?

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Next steps: Continue to read my blog 🙂 and look up some of the resources I suggest. One in particular, The Gifted Adult, by Jacobsen, is a thorough discussion of rainforest-mindedness or giftedness. Also, look for websites from Douglas Eby including http://www.talentdevelop.com. His sites are loaded with information and ideas. If you have a history of early trauma, find a therapist who understands PTSD and giftedness. The site http://www.sengifted.org is starting a list of therapists and also has many good articles. I hope this helps. Thanks for asking!

      Reply
  28. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    This describes me completely, and I feel so dumb. (Exactly how I found this article). I managed to finish college but nowhere to go. Certainly because I havent been able to settle and apply myself Im lacking what I need to suceed in a career, let alone have a job Im even be able to enjoy.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      So Rachel, if this does describe you, then, you might consider that you have a rainforest mind. Knowing that, you can then find ways to succeed in a career. Perhaps other posts on my blog will help. I also suggest other resources that could help you find your way. You can do it!

      Reply
      1. Rachel Avatar
        Rachel

        Thanks Paula? Where do I start? (This website of course ;)) I’d be happy to read anything, no surprise there. Maybe I did myself an disfavor, let go of the STEMs in college because I craved more knowledge about myself and the world. I chose history, there has to be knowledge in there somewhere, but its not something most corporations want and I dont want most corportations. Its one of those things though, you have to work. Im struggling at my office job though because it lacks meaning and it teaches me little.

        Reply
        1. paulaprober Avatar
          paulaprober

          Hi Rachel. In one of my posts, I list a bunch of good resources. http://yourrainforestmindbbwpc.wpcomstaging.com/2014/04/04/great-resources/. And there are others sprinkled throughout. The website http://www.puttylike.com has great information on careers. Thanks for writing.

          Reply
  29. joannakloster Avatar
    joannakloster

    Hello Paula! A co worker passed along your article on “rainforest mind” which made me laugh, sigh and feel so much better about myself. For the past 30 years I have lived a life described in your article (although I DO finish things). Always playing ‘catch up” while juggling a gazillion things on my To Do list. I have many times thought “I have so much I want to do, to learn, to get better at, go visit, etc and now I know why. Thank you, my dear for creating your website and sharing this good news. Sometimes one can feel like such an outsider….for not waking the straight and narrow road versus the road less traveled. And sometimes we find vindication, as I did with your article about having an rainforest mind. Which IS a good thing. It keeps good energy, and creativity alive on the planet and brings interest to others, I think. So, thank you Paula for your insights. They have found a special resting spot deep inside of me and provide comfort when needed. You are a dear soul.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thank you for your kind words, Joanna. I’m glad you found me! I’m so very happy to be of service and to be providing comfort.

      Reply
  30. Amber Avatar
    Amber

    I have a good eye for art, and my English skills are impressive that I used to tutor ESL students despite having a B/A in art history. And here family members say all I have is “math anxiety” , but when your classmates are ahead of you in remembering their multiplication tables, than someone should have had me tested to see why I couldn’t memorize them. I did get A’s and B’s in math up until then, but then something happened where my brain couldn’t “get” multiplication.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Amber, I’ve known other quite bright folks who never mastered their multiplication facts. I remember one telling me, smiling, “Isn’t that what calculators are for?” He’s now a very successful IT guy.

      Reply
  31. Amber Avatar
    Amber

    My mother and I had our old argument last night about how “Smart” I am. A little over ten years ago I was diagnosed as a “slow learner”(learning disabled) in math after I took an IQ test to qualify for learning disability services in college for my problems in math. She says she believes that I’m too “smart” to be “retarded in math” , and most of my problems were due to “math anxiety” as when I took my last college course in math I decided to do it without untimed tests and quizzes and got a B+. She forgets how hard it was for me to learn times tables, and it took me a little more than two years to memorize them. However, she says it was due to math anxiety due to a bad teacher, not that I was picked on by the teacher for having a genuine math learning disability. there’s other things I do that are just plain stupid like misplace things and become forgetful. And I have problems with my hearing ( as diagnosed in college) leading to something called CAPD. Anyway, a psychologist wants me to do another IQ test, and a personality test, as she thinks my problems are due to anxiety and not any brain injury leading to learning disabilities. I graduated with a GPA of 3.60 in Art History two years ago ( can’t take any major that requires loads of math due to my slowness in math), but I still feel like I’m dumb.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Amber. Thanks for writing. You situation sounds complex. You might want to look into what’s called “twice exceptionality” or “2e.” Gifted individuals can also have learning disabilities. If they do, it can be quite confusing. There are websites on this topic that you might want to look at. You could start with http://www.sengifted.com. Also, a person isn’t always advanced in all areas. There are certainly highly intelligent people who are only average or below in math, for example. Giftedness doesn’t have to be across the board in all areas. Often it isn’t. I hope this helps.

      Reply
  32. alittlesipoflemmonade Avatar
    alittlesipoflemmonade

    Reblogged this on A Little Sip of Lemmon-ade and commented:
    Oh my gosh, this is SO me! And I don’t say this about every little thing I read. This is excellent for validating your place in your own life.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      I didn’t know blogs could be reblogged. (I’m new at this.) How nice! Thanks. I’m glad you found it helpful. I’ll check out your blog.

      Reply
  33. Kirsten Avatar
    Kirsten

    Thank you for your blog. I don’t identify with all of the behaviors listed, but several. Another resource besides SENG and NAGC is Mensa and you can find mind-challenging activities and fun games at http://www.mensaforkids.org.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks for the link, Kirsten. And for your comment.

      Reply
  34. Jaina Avatar
    Jaina

    I want to thank you for this post. It actually left me in tears because everything you mention is something I deal with daily. I lived in an unsupportive family environment where I learned early on to judge myself harshly for this exact behavior and it is so vindicating to hear how “normal” this is. Truly, thank you. I only wish I had seen this in my first year at OSU, it could have helped alleviate a lot of stress, I think. Thanks again.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      You’re welcome, Jaina. Thanks for taking the time to write.

      Reply
  35. Kathy Schrimsher Avatar
    Kathy Schrimsher

    I’m 60 and I have never been able to narrow down my “passion” job. I’ll work at the most 5 or 6 years and want to change jobs. I’ve worked so many different jobs that my resume is a lengthy nightmare. At this rate I’ll work till the day I drop dead. I work 2 jobs 7 days a week now. I’m going to look at some of the webinars to see if it will help me. I’m tired of always feeling that I don’t belong where I am.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      The book Refuse to Choose is great. Also Laurence Boldt’s website empoweryou.com and his book Zen and the Art of Making a Living. These are for people with more than one passion. Also, you might google “portfolio career” and see what you find. Thanks for the comment, Kathy.

      Reply
  36. Julia Swancy Avatar
    Julia Swancy

    Super duper! I just wrote about one facet of this today on my blog 🙂 It really can be hard, living in this rainforest mind, and isolating– that’s one reason I talk about “de-pathologizing statistical outliers” so much 🙂

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks, Julia. I’ll have to check out your blog. Maybe you can feel a little less isolated now.

      Reply
  37. Every New Beginning | Bear On The Couch Productions

    […] But I know I don’t feel bad about walking away because I learned what I needed. […]

    Reply
  38. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    How do you know my son but you’ve never met him? I love your rain forest metaphor to describe the highly gifted! Every descriptive word you used rang true. And I love that you give the visual of the forest because it exists and is tangible. If there were more people who could see highly gifted individuals this way there would be much more flourishing and a lot less sadness and frustration from being misunderstood in school.

    I remember when my Son started Kindergarden; when asked what our goals for him were I said, “continue his love of learning”. Unfortunately except for his C Level gifted classroom in elementary school, his love of learning happens outside of school and school itself has been a rough road! He has been accused of cheating many times because he can ace a test without doing the repetitive homework or because they thought his original idea was plagiarism. He’s been told he is having a “teenage tantrum” when he asks to be excused from writing spelling words three times each……

    My son is seeking flexible teachers where he can have a mutually respectful relationship. He thrives on praise and is sensitive to criticism. The rainforest thrives because of it’s location on our earth. Maybe we should move to a more humid place so that our son will feel at home!!! Thank you for your wonderful article. It helps a great deal to feel understood.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Jenny. Thanks for your comments. Your son’s experiences in school are not uncommon, unfortunately. But there are those sweet sensitive creative teachers out there, so keep looking for them. I’m glad you like the metaphor.

      Reply
      1. rosemoor Avatar
        rosemoor

        This is one reason why we chose homeschooling for our kids when they were young. I moved so much as a kid that I was constantly introduced to new environments, which probably helped keep me from going crazy (bored). However, it also made it impossible to get into more than one of any of the gifted programs, as we always moved before the results of one end of year test could be used for the next year or new school in a new state.

        Reply
        1. paulaprober Avatar
          paulaprober

          Moving so much can be hard for so many reasons but it sounds like it was one way that you kept stimulated. Thanks for sharing, rosemoor.

          Reply
  39. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    Thank you! It is such a wonderful comfort to be known and understood without having to explain. This one piece sums up my entire life, even now. This is going to printed out and hung on my wall.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      I’m so glad to be able to help, Jen.

      Reply
  40. julietdies Avatar
    julietdies

    It is amazing to see myself and my patterns of behavior described perfectly. I’ve spent my entire life trying to figure out why I am not effective and productive the way others are, and have always been ashamed of it. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Good. I’m glad my post was helpful. Yes, you are not alone!

      Reply
  41. Liz G Avatar
    Liz G

    This really speaks to me. Thank you for sharing. I joined the Air Force so I could be told what to be, but now since staying home with my kids, I haven’t figured out what ‘career’ I am supposed to have. Too many choices, nothing seems to fit and I get very overwhelmed with all the loose ends and indecision… It helps a lot to know this isn’t just a me thing!

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Yes, Liz, it’s a rainforest mind thing! If you want more information about careers, try Barbara Sher’s book Refuse to Choose.

      Reply
  42. Mical Avatar
    Mical

    Yep. Sounds about right. What a crazy life it has been, always struggling to find meaning rather than settle into something. 47, and finally found my niche by working at an arts council. There’s too much to do, and you have to do everything, because there’s not a budget to pay for separate graphic designers, web designers, coders, writers, photographers, project planning, fund raising . . . constant stress to get everything done in time for events that are on the calendar makes it impossible to lose focus. And because it’s a nonprofit, I have a “cause” beyond making money, which I’ve always found annoying. Giving children and adults the arts and a symphony orchestra to get inspired by. Just saying, it can take nearly a life-time to find something that works. Don’t give up! (of course, I may get bored in a year!)

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Yes, Mical, don’t give up! There’s a webinar at sengifted.org that you might like. It’s about gifted adults finding career paths. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  43. Anne Avatar
    Anne

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the article! Is there any other article regarding how to reach highly gifted young children as a parent and also gifted teen. Thank you again!

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Hi Anne. There are many articles at the seng.org website. And Great Potential Press publishes many books on parenting gifted children.

      Reply
  44. Barbara M Avatar
    Barbara M

    Thank you so much this is perfect.
    I just sent this to my husband because it explains me and more importantly it explains my daughter who is twelve. I recognize the deer in the headlights look in her eyes when she gets halfway through a project and I know she is doing an exceptional job but it does not see anything but the fact that it does not meet her expectations.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Glad you liked it, Barbara. I’ll be writing in a later post about perfectionism. That might help with understanding your daughter’s high expectations. (and yours??)

      Reply
  45. 02pennies Avatar
    02pennies

    Loved this. It is me, exactly. Being understood is a terrific feeling. Thank you.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      You’re quite welcome.

      Reply
    2. Julia Swancy Avatar
      Julia Swancy

      Yes! That’s what I was going to say! 🙂

      Reply
  46. VinBioDiesel Avatar
    VinBioDiesel

    It’s nice to finally have in writing the thoughts that fill my head on a daily basis. This is me. This is who I am. I let it weigh me down instead of finding a way to corner it and make it my momentum instead of the fuel for my doubt.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks for sharing your experience, Vin.

      Reply
  47. Anne Avatar
    Anne

    So, as a parent, how to you help this type of personality to be “successful”? I have 2 wonderful children, and an adult brother who fit this description to a T.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      That, of course, if a complicated question, Anne! But I can tell you where to start. The website sengifted.org has many articles and webinars. They also have a conference once a year where you can meet with other parents and share ideas. I have a list of resources in one of my blog posts as well. Great Potential Press publishes good books about gifted children. And NAGC is a national organization supporting gifted kids. I hope that helps.

      Reply
  48. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    You’ve hit the nail on my head with this post! I made it through school in reasonably good shape, but since then have flitted from project to project, decision to decision – so many, many interesting things to learn and know, so many fascinating projects to accomplish, but staying on task to finish is a totally different form of self discipline. Thanks for the post – it makes me feel less fringe.

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Yes, less fringe, more rainforest! Thanks for the feedback.

      Reply
  49. Joshua Raymond Avatar
    Joshua Raymond

    Great article! It’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to as a parent of three gifted girls who often do dumb things. They also struggle, as do I, with feeling dumb in an area simply because it doesn’t come as easily to them as areas where they are very strong in. I jotted down some of my thoughts at http://rochestersage.org/2012/06/14/thinking-smart-acting-dumb/

    Reply
    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks for the link to your blog. I’m now a follower! I appreciate your comments.

      Reply
  50. Anna Avatar
    Anna

    When I had to write a paper or take an online test I’d start cleaning my already clean house- vacuum, mop, sweep, wash the bathrooms…

    It was like a religious rite where I had to do these things before I can make the ultimate sacrifice, dedicate my undivided attention to the task at hand.

    I call it encouraging my brain to naturally produce “Ritalin” (upping the stress) so I can focus.

    College was easiest for me. I learned the material in undergrad without worrying about my grades. I felt I needed to understand what I was learning more than I needed to Ace the course. I’m grad school… I Aced all my courses but one B without trying. Why? Not because I’m really smart but because the tests were not multiple choice but essay based. I was then able to excite my professors and get them good and tired with everything I knew about the subject before they were able to determine what I don’t know. 😉

    In elementary school and high school I didn’t find that I was there for me but because I HAD to be there. – I wanted to grow up quickly to enjoy my freedom. Anyway, every once in a while a teacher would get my attention and I’d focus and learn something that wasn’t in my text. My political science teacher in high school loved me and loved him too but I gave him a hard time when I’d get bored. He learned how to get me interested in his class. I because his favorite debater. I’d ask him which position he’d want me to defend because I was okay with any. He already knew where he wanted me…that position the students were against. lol

    I’m rambling now. However, one last thing. I dual majored as an undergrad and would have done so in grad school if I had the money at the time. One of the fields I majored in is multidisciplinary so I have all the fields I’m interested in to flirt with and then some- psychology, sociology, political science, medicine, neurology, anthropology, religion, philosophy, etc.

    Reply
    1. Anna Avatar
      Anna

      *interdisciplinary, not multi.

      ** You guys know autotype has a brain of its own. Feel free to correct my mistakes. Know that there will be quite a few now and in the future.

      It took my years to lessen my urge to be perfect and I don’t plan on making it my ball and chain ever again.** 🙂

      Reply
    2. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thank you for your thoughts, Anna, and for working toward letting go of perfect! I’ll be writing about perfectionism in a future blog. I hope you find it helpful.

      Reply
      1. Anna Avatar
        Anna

        No. Thank you. While I can understand and try work on myself, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel misunderstood. Everything you’ve written thus far the same experiences I’ve been through at one point in my life.

        I’ve invited my daughter, who is also gifted, to your blogs. Maybe since the information is coming from you it will help her better understand herself.

        I’m work in progress. You’re a great help. Thank you again.

        Reply
    3. Cait Avatar
      Cait

      I do this! I do the cleaning!

      I write for a magazine and also do on-demand artwork, but before I work on a project, I HAVE to clean my room, vacuum, make my bed, shower, and be clean and ready in order to give my complete focus to my work.

      Here we all thought I was crazy.

      Reply
      1. paulaprober Avatar
        paulaprober

        Hi Cait. Yes! You aren’t crazy! Thanks for writing.

        Reply
      2. Anna Avatar
        Anna

        lol Cait, Paula says we’re not. Then we’re not. However, as I find myself spinning doing everything but what I’m suppose to be doing… I question my sanity.

        Maybe you experience this too, having to prepare yourself to get ready to do something. My mind has to be in sync with what I have to do. I can’t just get out of bed. I have to prepare myself mentally to get out of bed. It’s the same process for a shower, eating, cooking, etc. Even to prepare myself to do those things is a mental planning process. – It’s more planning than the actual deed itself.

        By the way, thanks for sharing that with me. It made me laugh. It’s a beautiful feeling inside when someone does the same “crazy” thing I do.

        Reply
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