Muddled by Your Musings

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That would be me and the tango.

Do people have difficulty following you?

Are they muddled by your musings about the flaws in our current cultural mythologies? Do they retreat at your ruminations about the future of the planet? Do they get lost in your lectures about quadratic equations?

Well, my geekly one, I have the answer for you. If you want someone to follow you, learn to lead the Argentine tango.

You heard me.

This is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. This dance is made for you. It will stretch your brain in many directions all at once. It will demand that you tap your creative exuberance. It will celebrate your sensitivity and your intuitive powers.

And you will be popular. Yes, indeed. If you learn how to lead the Argentine tango, women and men will wait eagerly to dance with you. You will no longer be the nerd, the outcast, the last-one-picked-for-the-team. No. They will adore you. And you will finally be with people who can follow you.

I’m not making this up.

By the way, I’m speaking to both men and women. Even though only men lead the tango in Argentina, women lead in the US, and in other countries as well. And, in my experience, gender is irrelevant. You become two souls gliding through space connected to music, floor, your hearts, and the Mystery.

But there is one glitch. Just one. You won’t learn it right away. It will take time. Persistence. Failure. You may not have much experience with that. If you’re used to being the fastest learner in the room, think again. But that’s OK. That’s good. Taking the risk to try something where you won’t excel at first will open new doors. And if you’re a parent, it’ll be good modeling for your kids.

And, once you learn it–nirvana.

Not only that. You’ll look around the room, and there will be other geeks there. You might even find one who loves your musings about the flaws in our current cultural mythologies.

And just so you know, at Fermilab, near Chicago, where they study high-energy physics, they hold Argentine tango classes. Pamela Noyes said, in their August 2008 newsletter Fermilab Today, “Physics and tango both require passion to become very good…Physicists follow motion with their equations. Tango dancers follow each others motion with their senses…. If done well, both are extremely gratifying, perhaps one more to the mind and the other to the senses.”

So learn to lead the Argentine tango. And get followed


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Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

18 responses to “Muddled by Your Musings”

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  1. A Totally Anecdotal Unscientific Explanation of a Particular Variety of High Intelligence from an Absolutely Nonacademic Tango Dancing Psychotherapist | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] in order to make a decision. A slower, deliberate, deep thinker and processor. Wants to learn to dance the Argentine tango so that he can finally experience being […]


  2. Finding Meaningful Friendships When You Are (Annoyingly) Perceptive And (Excruciatingly) Sensitive | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] Of course, they probably will not magically appear even if you are basking in self-compassion. (although they might) You most likely will need to be creative about where you look and you will have to take the initiative and make the first moves. I have specific suggestions here. And, here. (With adjustments for the pandemic. Sorry, no tango dancing.) […]


  3. The Pressure To Always Be The Smartest One In The Room | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] of like learning the Argentine tango. I hated it. In the beginning. Everyone was gliding around the room. Effortlessly. Flicking their […]


  4. What Does Gifted Look Like in My World? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] understood and to calm his anxiety. Researches for days in order to make a decision. Learning to dance the Argentine tango so that he can finally experience being […]


  5. A Love Letter to You and Your Rainforest Mind | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] forms.” I found an old video of me taking a tango lesson from 2004. As you know, I recommend the Argentine tango for RFMs looking to find each other and connect. Here’s a chance to see what it’s like! […]


  6. Paula Prober Avatar
    Paula Prober

    I just recently found a DVD of me at a tango lesson in 2004. Check it out! https://youtu.be/B7UeGh6u0P8


  7. Don’t Give Up On Yourself And Your Rainforest Mind | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] never know. You could be a late bloomer. You could start tango dancing at 47. You might become a blogger at 62. You might get your first book published at 64. You could […]


  8. Gifted Boys To Men — How To Thrive In A World That Misunderstands Your Sensitivities | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] in many forms: counseling, 12-step groups, spiritual practices, music, acupuncture, yoga, massage, tango, book groups, camping, poetry, hiking, meditation, star-gazing, physical activity, art. It’s a […]


  9. Communicating — When Your Mind Travels At Warp Speed | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] Get involved in activities you love and use your intuition to find other RFMs. Learn the Argentine tango. Become a college professor. Talk to trees and rivers. Paint. Read and contact your favorite […]


  10. What Your Ruminating, Analyzing, Synthesizing Mind-Body Needs | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I awakened my mind-body through the Argentine tango. The tango has been my entry into […]


  11. Your Rainforest Mind — The Webinar | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] I tell some of my story of how I became a psychotherapist-consultant-speaker-blogger-author-tango dancer.  (Well, actually, I leave off the part about the tango dancer. I’ll save that for the next […]


  12. Gifted? Lonely? Learn the Argentine Tango | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] Then you need the Argentine tango. […]


  13. If I’m So Smart, Why Am I So Lonely? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] to know who you are. Figure out who you are. Use psychotherapy or yoga or meditation or painting or dancing or science or astrology or acupuncture or reading or hiking or music or spirituality or dark […]


  14. Smart Sensitive Men Are In Trouble | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] in many forms: counseling, 12-step groups, spiritual practices, music, acupuncture, yoga, massage, tango, book groups, camping, poetry, hiking, meditation, star-gazing, physical activity, art. It’s […]


  15. Munchkin Avatar
    Munchkin

    o.o Really? I think I have some research to do now >.> My other half and I have been wanting to learn ballroom dancing, but couldn’t decide on what direction to go, and were worried that just wanting to learn it wasn’t a good enough reason to spend the money. If what you say is true though…. Definitely worth the research!


  16. Lonely? Find Your Pips. | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] * Learn the Argentine tango. […]


  17. Vicky Avatar
    Vicky

    Ohhhh, yes, I remember the Mystery dancing with you, sweet Paula!


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Vicky!!! So glad to hear from you. Where are you living and what are you up to? Send me an e-mail, please. paula@rainforestmind.com

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