Lonely? Find Your Pips.

Face it.

You weren’t popular.

You still aren’t.

You were too excited by Jane Austen. You were too curious about black holes and sea anemones. You were too emotional when you were teased. You were too incensed when teachers were unfair. You were too disappointed when the world let you down.

You still are.

But maybe you don’t care about being popular now. It no longer matters.

But you do need community. Your tribe. Or a friend. One good friend.

So what do you do?

* Admit that you have a rainforest mind. Then do things you love. Use your intuition to spot other rainforest-minded souls while you’re there. Take the risk and ask one to tea. S/he will be grateful. You’ll have a potential friend.

* Learn the Argentine tango.

* Find or create an online community talking about Jane Austen, black holes and sea anemones.

And finally.

* Find your Pips. (not to be confused with ‘peeps’)

I stole this idea. From an old quirky TV show. I’m embarrassed to admit it. Ally McBeal. In this episode, she was told by her stand-up-comedian therapist that her distress could be soothed if she found her Pips. As in, Gladys Knight and the Pips. Her back-up singers. Everybody needs back-up singers.


Imagine your Pips. Your spiritual support network. Singing and dancing right behind you. Melodies. Harmonies. Shoo bop shoo bop. Maybe they look like people. Maybe animals. Maybe shining balls of light.

No matter.

They’re yours. They’ll be there when the humans aren’t.

Don’t take my word for it.

Just say you heard it through the grapevine.


photo:  CC https://www.flickr.com/x/t/0091009/photos/armadilo60/3992318922/

To my blogEEs: Sorry it’s been a while. I hope you missed me. Let me/us know in the comments what you do to soothe your soul and cope with your loneliness. How do you build your spiritual support network? I’ll share more ideas on that in the next post.

And let’s create community right here. Sha na na na. Sha na na na na.

This post is part of the blog hop at hoagiesgifted.org. See the link below to read about gifted kids and friendships.


Related Posts

Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

17 responses to “Lonely? Find Your Pips.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. The Holiday Season Blues — Rainforest Mind Edition | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] Lonely? Find your Pips […]

  2. Peter Avatar

    Late to the party, but thank you so much for writing this blog. For a long time I have felt isolated from much of wat goes in to “normal” human interaction, and have thought that there must be something wrong with me because of it. Thank you for showing me that there are other people like this, and that they have many of the same struggles I do. This blog makes me feel less alone.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Never too late, Peter. Thanks for coming to our party. 🙂

  3. Barb Avatar

    Love the idea of finding your “Pips”. I have been fortunate to find a few people who appreciate my rainforest mind – I refer to them as members of my Fan Club. My best friend is President. 🙂
    Thanks for all you do.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      You are so welcome, Barb. Thanks for being here.

  4. Meredith Avatar

    Oh my goodness Paula…I loved Ally McBeal! I might have to find this old episode somewhere and show my RFM daughter, who is 12 and is really feeling lonely these days. Thank you. 🙂

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      It was quite a quirky show, wasn’t it? Thanks for sharing, Meredith!

  5. The Gifted Adult’s Guide to Finding Friends | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] Lonely? Find Your Pips  (This one has a link at the end by a different group of parents of gifted kids, also on this topic.) […]

  6. If I’m So Smart, Why Am I So Lonely? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] But I have some ideas. […]

  7. Your Child Is Gifted–Let The Worries Begin | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] at how you have trouble finding friends who aren’t overwhelmed by your […]

  8. Lonely? Find Your Pips–Part Two | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] In my last post, I gave you a few ideas. […]

  9. black sheep Avatar
    black sheep

    Every single post… it is like you can read my very existence!
    I am still not sure I am ready or willing to accept the possibility that the G word is what is “wrong” with me. However, this is giving me the little extra push I needed to continue to advocate for my HG daughter. It is such an uphill battle, and one that I was losing strength to fight. Each post is re-energizing and motivating.
    Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience!

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      I’m so glad I can help you get energized, black sheep! One of these days, you’ll just have to admit to your own g-g-giftedness. Happy to help you get there.

  10. Rachel D Avatar
    Rachel D

    I’m really enjoying your blog. It speaks to my soul. So thank you for making this space for me and the other rainforest minds out there.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      You’re so welcome, Rachel. Thanks for letting me know.

  11. C A Avatar
    C A

    OMG! Paula! :)I missed you! hope the conference went well! Whaddya do? Whaddya talk about? 🙂 tell me everything! This is so right up my alley because without my spiritual support dudes and other assorted awesomeness this girl would not be here! Yes well personally I speak with Jesus and God but that is my bent…they are enormously helpful and love me and see my good…and I guess it helps that I am so spiritual and intuitive. But whatever works right. Yes I was desperately lonely most of my life and would write rambling poems about being the one of my kind…I am quite the kick ass writer 🙂 but now I am seeing that I am not as alone as I thought and there are good people and even smart people out there…but you have to like yourself as well… And release the backward deprived servant consciousness that was so much a part of my previous life…and embrace my good! My good. Mine. Yes there is such a thing! Getting used to it! And wow I am popular now….most people do like me..although sometimes I wonder why…:) ) old habits as they say…but yes my students adore me and are so sweet! Ms. Graham! I am Ms. Graham now…and not that weird kid with glasses, in the 3 rd row that the kids and teachers were jealous of…I am capable powerful Ms. Graham. Awesome 🙂

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Well, Ms. Graham, thanks for sharing your awesome self with us! I missed you, too. I was presenting at the SENG conference about counseling gifted adults. I can’t quite tell you *everything* at this moment…but it’ll all come out in the blog eventually. I’m happy to hear about your “spiritual support dudes.” Keep going with your assorted awesomeness!

%d bloggers like this: