The Arrogant Know-It-All Conundrum

Flickr Creative Commons Gaurika Wijeratne
Flickr Creative Commons Gaurika Wijeratne

My counseling clients talk fast. They use words I don’t recognize. They notice when I’m a teensy weensy bit distracted. I don’t know how it happened that I became a therapist for smart people. OK, for g-g-gifted people. Seriously, on the continuum of giftedness, I’m BG. (barely gifted)

I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me. I love my job. I’m just saying. I’m not sure how I got here.

In spite of my BGness, I know some things about these people. I mean, I know some things about you.

I know that you’re intense. If you don’t “dial it down,” you may even be accused of being arrogant, a know-it-all. People don’t understand your exuberance or your natural warp speed or your love of language. They don’t understand your glee over dark matter. They don’t know that you don’t realize when you’ve lost them. Or you do realize when you’ve lost them and you’re actually trying to dial it down but you don’t know which ideas they won’t understand and which ones they will understand. You’re just being yourself. You don’t feel special or gifted. You’re just you.

The (wanting-to) know-it-all.

Am I right so far?

Oh, I realize that there are gifted people who are extremely competitive, who try to display their intelligence whenever they can. But I think their numbers are smaller than the stereotype would have us believe. And I bet their behavior comes out of the pressure they feel to meet the expectations that have been thrust upon them since they were little tykes blowing everyone away with their abilities. They have to prove that they’re smart again and again because they think that’s what makes them lovable.

And, you may feel pressure to achieve, too, and guilt when you don’t. You may have learned that your worth depends on your accomplishments. And perhaps you fight the urge to scream in frustration when everyone you know is so s-l-o-w. Patience with coworkers and family members may be difficult to maintain. And at times it becomes too much to bear.

But I know you. Your rainforest mind chooses compassion. Not every time. You aren’t perfect. But kindness usually wins.


So, the next time you’re accused of arrogance, the next time you’re called a know-it-all,  understand where the misperception comes from. Stop blaming yourself for your poor communication skills. Appreciate your exuberance. Warp speed. Love of language. Glee.

Find a safe place to vent your anger– in a journal, on a racquetball court, through an art form, to your therapist.

Then, think about how you might lovingly and selectively dial it down some of the time. Consciously choose what you share and what you don’t. Use your intuition to assess the people you’re with. What can they handle? When do they glaze over? Breathe between sentences. Agree with your partner and friends on a hand signal that they can use that will alert you when you need to switch communication style from fire hose to garden hose.

Then search high and low for someone with whom you can express yourself fully. Another rainforest mind. Someone who loves knowing it all. With you.


To my blogEEs: Does this describe your experience? What do you do when this happens to you? Do you see it in others? How would you explain your intensity?

Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

73 responses to “The Arrogant Know-It-All Conundrum”

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  1. Gifted Adults Around The World — What Do They Have In Common? Meet Alice In Brazil | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] many of you can relate to being called arrogant or being told you are too much, too sensitive, too intense. You’ve heard the complaints of […]

  2. Lost Girl In Bookland Avatar
    Lost Girl In Bookland

    I recently came to know from a few therapists that I have a gifted mind, which was a light bulb moment for me cus I always struggled to understand why exactly I had such problems with communicating with other people and why people found me arrogant or condescending. I’ve been trying to explain to people that the reason why I have such poor communication skills is because I have a gifted mind and because of this the problem lies with me and not them and that I dont always explain myself correctly or cant see things in ways other people can and it just makes it worse and now not only am I rude and condescending but now they think that I think they are just stupid too. Do you have any advice on how to communicate with others without seeing rude, arrogant, or condescending?

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Probably telling many people you are gifted will not be helpful. You might instead use the term neurodiversity or the rainforest mind analogy and then describe your differences. Maybe even use HSP, highly sensitive person. I’m glad to hear that you have had therapists who have identified this for you. You’ll just need to pick carefully who you tell and how you tell them. And then look for other RFMs where you can be more open with who you are.

      1. Lost Girl In Bookland Avatar
        Lost Girl In Bookland

        thanks. its just hard. I grew up in a “chainsaw” family and have known many other cruel chainsaws outside of my family. Its so frustrating to hear so many people telling you “to just be quiet.” or that youre too much of this or too much of that. or that “you need to just live in the moment.” and its so painful because you know theres nothing that you can do to do that. You can’t change fundamental parts of yourself.

        1. Paula Prober Avatar
          Paula Prober

          Yes. It is hard. <3

  3. Gifted In Finland — What Are Gifted Adults Like Across Cultures? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] and pick just one thing, which is impossible, stifling, and ridiculous. It is not unusual to be called arrogant even if you are trying to hide your achievements and your […]

  4. Learning Comes Easily To Gifted Kids And Adults — How Might That Be A Problem? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] ~ How do you explain how you know what you know? You can see it or hear it once and then you know it. You have a high level of intuition as a way of knowing, too. How do you talk about all that without sounding arrogant? […]

  5. Gifted Children and Adults — Why Are They So Misunderstood? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] children are not show-offs or arrogant know-it-alls.  They are sincerely and enthusiastically loving learning, language, analysis, debate, creativity, […]

  6. Don’t Show How Smart You Are. Other Kids Will Feel Bad. | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] you don’t think you’re so smart. There are all those other people smarter than you. You’re not arrogant or full of […]

  7. Dan Han Avatar
    Dan Han

    Hi Paula, thanks for this article. My own family is the opposite of intense, but I was born intense. Growing up in a Far East Asian family, I was constantly put down both with physical and verbal means. I moved to Canada at 14, and ever since I thrived. Now I have a job I love where intensity is appreciated – humanitarian emergency and research – and I have close friends in every place I lived who appreciate my intense mind as well as my intense love for them. It hurts, however, that my own family rejects me for being born this way. They keep cursing my existence because I don’t fit into their conservative and religious culture, and the truth is, the more cursing they do, the more intense I get with them out of anger. I wish I had an off button…

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I’m so glad that you’ve found people who appreciate your rainforest mind and work that you love, Dan. It can be so painful when our families don’t understand us, though. At some point, it might help for you to find a therapist who can help you work through your losses. Thank you for sharing.

  8. Don’t Give Up On Yourself And Your Rainforest Mind | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] go to Harvard. Even if you did go to Harvard. Even if your curiosity has been misinterpreted as arrogance and know-it-all-ness. Even if you weren’t popular in high school. Even if you can’t […]

  9. Kristel Avatar

    Great post Paula ! It’s always a pleasure reading, knowing there are people out there who understand. In my daily life/country I don’t know many. Therefore your posts are so valuable and important. Until I find my peers, my tribe out there, which I will, your posts are vital.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Yes, you’ll find your peers. I’m glad I can be here in the meantime!

  10. Who Were You Before You Learned That You Are Supposed To Be Normal? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] you should feel guilty because you’re so smart or if you believed them when they called you a know-it-all and a […]

  11. Becca Perry Avatar
    Becca Perry

    The frustration I have with this phenomenon is complicated by the fact that communication (through teaching and facilitation) is my life’s work. And still I get this wrong in meetings. I am trying so hard to be conscious, to be mindful, to go slow, to listen. But then I still share something authoritatively and someone is uncomfortable, and I get the lecture about “just blurting things out.” Or being arrogant. Or taking over the space. Or whatever. If only they knew how much control I am exercising. How much I am just trying to be a trickle out of the garden hose.

    Ironically, in my current situation, I suspect that our teacher (who is gifted on many fronts) has an undiagnosed Rainforest Mind. But his position of authority (and his maleness) make it OK for him to share his brilliance. But I notice that his mind works really fast, and that he doesn’t always listen well. He wants to listen well. But sometimes his brilliance makes him underestimate others.

    As a facilitator, I have developed the ability (as you have as a counselor, Paula), to see and bring out other people’s gifts. I don’t get bored by non-rainforest minds in that setting. Every person has their gifts, and all gifts are interesting to me. Every person also has their traumas, and these need love and understanding and space.

    It has been so frustrating for me at work though when I have ideas that I can’t share or that are met with resistance because the organization is so conservative. Why do my skills desert me in those moments? Why do I feel like I’m going to explode?

  12. To Achieve Or Not To Achieve — That Is The Question | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] and interests? Where can you find adequate feedback? If you’re proud of something you achieve does that make you arrogant? How do you deal with accolades when something was easy for you to achieve; do you feel guilty or […]

  13. They Say You’re A Know-It-All. Are You? | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] But you were ridiculed and rejected. And maybe your teachers told you, “Nobody likes a know-it-all.” […]

  14. Lauryn Avatar

    Hi, Paula! I found your blog this morning and couldn’t stop reading! Congratulations for your great job and thanks for answering so many questions and being so clear and fun!

    For the first time in my life, I feel so cliche… I fit in every single description in every single post I’ve read so far! 🙂

    About your question of being accused of being arrogant, of course the answer is yes. All the time. I was accused of being arrogant even by my psychoanalyst while I was trying to explain how afraid I was to succeed and my efforts to “dumb down”. As you can imagine, I knew she was wrong, but it took me some tome to really believe. I’m from Brazil and currently I’m living in a small town… Not so easy to find a therapist who understands rainforest minds.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Ha! How does it feel to be so cliche?? I’m glad you found us. I’m always so happy to know my blog is reaching people outside of N. America. Welcome, Lauryn!

  15. hagtesse Avatar

    No. No more dialling down. I will seek my people, my peers and even if I find only a handful, that will still be more than the rest or the world to me.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Yes, important to find your people!

  16. Marcy Avatar

    You post very interesting posts here. Your website deserves much more visitors.
    It can go viral if you give it initial boost, i know very
    useful tool that can help you, just type in google: svetsern traffic tips

  17. My Overexcitable Hair | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] I know I’ve told you in another post that I’m BG. (barely gifted) Even so, I do have some […]

  18. WolftryingofindmyPack Avatar

    Thank you, thank you so much! I don’t know why but I cried while reading your blog. I mean I have loads of great friends and everything and even a few who get my mind leaps sometimes, but I’ve always felt like something was missing. I have to dumb myself down for a lot of people and ask questions I already know the answer to just to make them feel like I’m not that much smarter than them. I have to struggle not to yell “How do you not get this?” or become frustrated with how slow everyone is at understanding things. I have to act like I find some things hard to comprehend just so I don’t come across as condescending. It feels good to know that there are other people out there who have the same problems.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Yes. Maybe you’re found your pack.

    2. Sherry Muldoon Avatar
      Sherry Muldoon

      YES!!!! I also cried at these familiar thoughts and phrases. It’s been such a struggle to feel a part of in these situations. I remember being in 4th grade at a new school and thinking that I could start over here and no one has to know. Then, I would purposely miss answers on my tests so that I could bring my scores down and fit in with my friends. I remember feeling so different because the other kids were scratching their heads at stuff that I just knew almost telepathically. It’s such a relief to hear these patterns are in others. I have been craving for this recognition I think my entire life. Thank you so much for what you have shared here!

      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Thank you for this example, Sherry. I’ve heard many times how RFMs have missed answers on purpose. Good to have you here.

  19. faithinangels Avatar

    Reblogged this on Journey to My Soul.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you for the reblog!

  20. Teresa Avatar

    I love your post! I also struggle in being patient not just with people around me but also with myself. Not because I know it all but because I struggle when others are slow to see/notice or sometimes fail to see what I think is obvious. I struggle with keeping my intensity in check so as not to overwhelm those around me and so that they would not say I’m OA or exaggerating. Sigh. Your post describes a good part of me and my eldest son.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thanks Teresa. Yes, it can be hard to be patient with oneself. And hard to not realize that people don’t always see what is obvious to you.

  21. ARY Avatar

    Being able to discuss deep and complex things with each other was definitely something that drew my husband and me together, and it still does. 🙂

  22. Marilyn Bratis Avatar
    Marilyn Bratis

    Wow – this is my first visit to your blog. It’s like you’re inside my head!! Thank you for expressing this so clearly. It almost brought me to tears to see that someone “gets it.” I will be back.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      I’ll look forward to having you revisit, Marilyn. Thanks.

  23. LolliGirl Avatar


    I saw your comment on mine and thought I’d jump over and leave my comment here. I wrote on exactly this topic last week ( and love your personal spin on the know-it-all phrase! In fact, side by side, they represent the adult, child, and parental perspectives nicely. It is, as we both acknowledge, one of those phrases which condemns as much as it soothes.

    And by the way, I giggled at your BG comment…. ha! You have such a great way of laying it out. That is what I know!

    Thanks for your note!

    Irene Hila

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you, Irene. So good to “meet” you.

  24. Antarmukhi Avatar

    I am a recent follower of this blog. I love reading your posts. I am a therapist from india & understanding giftedness is in a kind of nascent stage here.
    This one touched my heart. Just this week, after a particularly embarrassing incident where a respected teacher & fellow therapist looked at me in a group & almost screamed at how my expressive face doesn’t give her a clue if I agree or don’t agree with what she is saying, kind of ignited the struggle of after so many years can’t you figure it out! Why does it matter? I am making it easier by simplifying my thoughts, feelings..
    Thank you for the post, it warmed my heart & eased some of the pain..

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      So glad I can ease some of your pain.

    2. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you Antarmukhi for telling me a little bit about your work. I’m glad you’re part of a team of supportive professionals. Welcome to my blog!

  25. Antarmukhi Avatar

    I have recently started following your blog. I really like it, I look forward to your posts. I am a therapist in india. Giftedness is in kind of nascent stage here. I am not sure I belong to the the rainforest mind..
    But I loved your post! I have been struggling with the experience of making it easy for others to get me, they still don’t! Some Of them are wonderful therapists themselves. I can’t seem to understand despite toning it down, how tough it is to get my thoughts or feelings or actions!
    Thank you for this post, it warmed my heart & eased some of my pain..

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      I suspect that if you connect with what I’m writing, then you have a rainforest mind. Thank you for letting me know you’re reading my blog. I’ll be curious to hear more about what it’s like to be a therapist in India!

      1. Antarmukhi Avatar

        Thank you for replying. Mental health issues are gaining more sensitivity as days pass by in india. We don’t work on insurance, it’s challenging to make it profitable. At the same time, thanks to the Internet, we are more connected to the world, getting trained by experts & more access to latest researches. I belong to a group of professionals who support each other in this journey, so it’s a tough but meaningful endeavour. Will fill in more as time passes.

  26. holbart Avatar


    To quote one of my students, “I sighed all the way down to my toes,” when I saw this post. 🙂

    I first went to counseling three years ago after my new boss wrote me a confrontational letter about how I was, “Too authoritative and declarative rather than collaborative; condescending; and dismissive.” I was told that I didn’t take time to reflect before sharing my thoughts and that I didn’t, “seem to reflect an understanding that we are facing complex issues that we may not be able to fix perfectly.”

    I wish I could explain how deeply violated I felt by that letter. It emotionally crippled me. With that said, I really did have some serious blind spots. Ironically, I had no idea that I had significantly more capacity and competence than my new boss (and at the risk of “sounding arrogant,” my whole department). I guess I had always found a way to, “go along to get along” throughout my life. Becoming aware of the real differences between us was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life. I don’t mean to cheapen the word “trauma” when I say that it was traumatizing. (I should add, though, that a series of difficult life events all happened at the same time, both in and outside of work, creating the perfect storm). It was just too much, too fast.

    The blinds of my Johari window are now open, and I hate it. I would take the metaphorical “blue pill” any day, if I could. Like you, I doubt that I am g-g gifted, but i am gifted enough that it hurts. This is why your post caused me to, “sigh all the way down to my toes.” I think becoming self-aware about one’s giftedness is the more loving action, but it is a hard thing to endure without a little encouragements along the way, which you do so well with this blog.

    Thank you.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I think many “regular” people don’t realize how devastating their actions can be to sensitive rainforest minds. I love that expression “sigh all the way down to my toes.” It warms my heart to know that you’re receiving encouragement from my posts.

    2. Atlas Educational Avatar
      Atlas Educational


      Your tribe is out there (yes, referencing prior post replies). We exist! We suffer the same violations, the same feelings of confusion. Though I never received a letter from a boss mentioning that I was “too authoritative and declarative rather than collaborative; condescending; and dismissive”, I totally could have. I’ve had 1 principal who understood me and my mission and 1 who set out to destroy me from day one. I get what you mean about trauma. I’m still suffering the loss of my life as a teacher having left of my own volition because the standardization hurts my soul too much to return.

      Just know that we live and feel more passionately. While it’s tougher on many levels, it’s also more fulfilling and I wouldn’t trade me for anything. Hang in there. Connect with others like you.

      1. holbart Avatar

        Thanks, Atlas Educational, can I call you Atlas for short? 🙂

        That sounds like a really big loss, leaving teaching. Thanks for sharing your experience. My situation was very similar, with a wonderful boss followed by a not-so-wonderful boss. Thanks for reaching out to me. That means a lot. It’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in being alone. I hope things look up for you soon with your work as a teacher.



        1. Atlas Educational Avatar
          Atlas Educational

          You hang in there too! I hope you know it was your boss’ loss. Better days ahead, my friend.

    3. patchworkpoppies Avatar

      holbart, I can completely relate when you said, “blue pill”! At first I was O.K. with it and pretty content because this is who I have been all my life… but suddenly it does feel a little much “too much” at moments. I COMPLETELY get what you mean!

      1. holbart Avatar

        Thanks, Patchwork Poppies,

        Yah, awareness kind of sucks. LOL

    4. Faith Currant Avatar
      Faith Currant

      I’m so sorry, and just chiming in to say you’ve got at least some company in your misery.

      I was once fired from a dead-end job as a cashier at a YMCA when i was young because I learned too fast and made the person training me nervous. I actually thought that was funny, but these experiences aren’t always, as you know.

      Most recently, I gave in to the temptation to post a more nuanced comment under a political meme on FB. In answer, I got a vitriolic attack from someone else, telling me, “Someone has been watching too much cable TV and hasn’t learned to think for herself.” with a long comment totally (of course) NOT getting the nuance I was attempting to point out. That one still hurts.

      Social media is not, I think, a good place for people like us, but what else is there? I’m lost as to how to find my tribe.

  27. lauralynnwalsh Avatar

    I recently got a new computer and setting it up and getting everything working has proven to be a challenge. This frustration came out when I had to spend over 2 hours on the phone with tech support for one company and another hour on the phone with tech support for another company. I get so impatient with their stupid protocols, when I know that the things they are suggesting AREN’T the PROBLEM. I interrupt them in my impatience. I talk too fast, I talk over them. I want to get the phone call moving to the REAL problem. I am not a know-it-all, I swear, but Oh, my, I know I sound like one at times.

    And, yes, I have been on the other end of the phone GIVING tech support. I know that people have to have the simplest things explained to them slowly and carefully.

    But it is SO frustrating when they can’t tell the difference between someone with a simple problem, who just needs to be walked through the fix and someone with a complicated problem, who has tried many of the simple fixes they have suggested already, if they would only listen to me.

    I am not a know-it-all, I swear…

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      We believe you Lauralynn. Uh huh. 🙂

    2. Becca Perry Avatar
      Becca Perry

      This. So much.

      I have adopted the strategy of telling them that I am a software engineer at the beginning of the call. It helps. It would also help to have a man’s voice, I think, but I don’t. So I go with the credentials.

      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Repeated frustration can bring a person to the explosion point for sure, Becca. And, in that moment, your frontal lobe might also be less capable so you lose your skills. Make sense?

      2. Faith Currant Avatar
        Faith Currant

        Oh yes! I usually go with “attorney” — I’m not one, but it usually works to elevate their assessment of my skills. Or I just tell them I have a doctorate in whatever we’re discussing. That works, too, sometimes. when it doesn’t, things go very very badly…

  28. Sarah Avatar

    Yep. 🙂

  29. Anne Dunlevie Avatar
    Anne Dunlevie I also like this perspective.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you for sharing this link, Anne. I’m sure many readers here will relate.

  30. Gail Post, Ph.D. Avatar
    Gail Post, Ph.D.

    Great post – so descriptive about what gifted adults go through and how they seem to others. Love your “fire hose- garden hose” metaphor also.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thanks, Gail.

  31. Ro Avatar

    Far out. I am poised to return for my second therapy session today; first item on my agenda is an apology for the quick-paced hour long vent that comprised the first session. I’ve been prepping myself on how to slow down this time. Fingers crossed it works out. Felt a bit like I left the therapist in my wake before, which isn’t how I want things to go.
    Usually, in everyday conversation, I try really hard to s l o w my mind down and lower my expectations of the interaction. Just try to be friendly and listen well. Even if somebody isn’t always 3 steps ahead the way I seem to be (on a good day) if I focus and listen it’s usually true that we can relate with each other about plenty of things. After all, the human condition is not reserved merely for those who communicate quickly! As for somebody who I can talk in all dimensions with (including some probably not discovered yet – we are an odd pair) I’m very lucky to have my husband in my life. We typically discuss topics through many different lenses; and can easily find ourselves chatting for hours late at night. Somebody looking from the outside would probably see two over-animated, happy people with sparks in their eyes – talking absolute rubbish 😉

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Ro, Your therapist may have been fine with your fast pace. I love the intensity of my clients and find that I can follow them as they race all over the place in random directions. I’m so glad you have a rainforest-minded hubby.

  32. patchworkpoppies Avatar

    Reblogged this on patchwork poppies.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you.

  33. patchworkpoppies Avatar

    I needed this. Been struggling the past few weeks with exactly everything you’ve said. It’s such a mind warp. Especially when most of your life you edit yourself to fit in and then when you do find your “tribe” you want to scream from the mountain tops because even as introverted as one may be you want to finally feel free then you don’t know if you’ve gone too far and the tretcherous cycle starts all over again. Am I being too much? Now I need to learn how to gauge myself again. Am I isolating myself again?.. ugh it’s really been a whirlwind of a time.

    Why am I tearing up? Ugh these sensitivities. Lol.. Paula you really speak to my heart. I feel (bg) at times too. After going almost 28 yrs feeling substandard then finding my tribe I often question… do i really belong here? Am I an imposter … ahh this rainforest mind..

    Thank you for writing and sharing this post

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Here’s a hug for your sensitivities. You belong here.

  34. unnahbar Avatar

    This is absolutely it…. there’s one thing I was reminded of a lot. Sometimes I associate something and just take these associations for granted and people I talk with get really confused because they think I just junmp from one subject to a totally different one. My dad always understands, I think he’s probably gifted too, and we talked quite a bit about this issue. It’s sometimes funny when we talk and my mum is totally confused about our conversation 😀
    But you are right, sometimes we need to have someone who simply understands. It’s amazing how much this differs now (I’ve started med school aboujt a month ago and there are amazing people who think jsut like me!!!!) and I simply feel so much safer now when I don’t have to explain so much and can simply talk.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Oh and that’s another issue– when you have a creative mind and others don’t follow or don’t know how you got there. I’m glad you have a dad who understands and that you’ve found amazing people in med school. Yay!

  35. dmstauber Avatar

    Yes yes yes yes. Some of my core issues come from my bewilderment from childhood at people being angry at me or feeling hurt by me when all I was doing was being my true self (and always trying to do the right thing). It’s been a huge relief to let that go and choose people who get me.

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Yes, a huge relief. Finding your true peers. Thanks for sharing!

  36. litebeing Avatar

    Yes this is me! Thought of your work when celebrating my birthday with my nieces. One of them is most likely gifted with straight A’s, accelerated classes,etc. So much emphasis is on achievement and winning ( she’s also an athlete). We were brought up that way, but my sister is a therapist too and thought she’d understand. Yet I do not think she is gifted ( doesn’t possess many of the traits you describe). Great post!

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thanks litebeing. It’s always good to hear from you.

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