Most Popular Post of 2014 — If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb?

photo from Casey Fyfe, Unsplash
photo from Casey Fyfe, Unsplash

People may have told you that you were smart. But you may not feel smart. Why? Because you graduated from college with a 2.65 grade point average after changing your major 5 times. Why? Because you never finish any of the projects you start. Why? Because you can’t decide what color to paint the bedroom and it’s been three years. Why? Because you still daydream all the time and forget to tie your shoes. Why? Because you haven’t won the Nobel Prize. In fact, you haven’t won anything except the spelling bee in third grade. Why? Because you still cry when you gaze at the stars. Why? Because you know how much you don’t know.

 

Let me explain. It’s complicated.

• If you have multiple interests and abilities (multipotentiality), you may want to study many topics and not want to narrow yourself down to one field. One day you’re fascinated by marine biology and the next by philosophy. How do you choose?

• Perhaps, college was the first time you were challenged academically. You didn’t know how to study and you couldn’t stop yourself from procrastinating, so your grades suffered.

• You love learning new things and once you learn what you need, it’s time to move on. This may mean that certain projects don’t look complete even though they are complete for you.

• You have very high standards for your work. If you’re feeling pressure to be perfect, you abandon a project because you feel paralyzed.

• You’re very sensitive to color so it really matters what colors you live with. Decisions, in general, are hard because you can think of way too many possibilities.

• Daydreaming still gets a bad rap and you believed what your teachers told you about it. Some of my best friends are daydreamers. And who has time to tie their shoes?

• Winning has never been your objective.

• Crying gets a bad rap, especially if you’re a male. But you see the incredible beauty in the sky and are amazed.

People may have told you that you were smart. You may not feel so smart. That’s OK. Nobody said living with a rainforest mind was going to be easy.

____________________________

To my bloggEEs: Even though it hasn’t been a full year yet (I started this blog in March 2014), it still feels like a good time to thank you for finding me, reading, sharing, commenting, liking and being with me, here, in this astonishing blogworld. Thank you! I look forward to joining you in 2015 and beyond. Please continue to read and share your thoughts, feelings, questions and insights. And remember to LOVE that sensitive, complicated, creative, and curious rainforest mind of yours.


Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

11 responses to “Most Popular Post of 2014 — If I’m So Smart Why Am I So Dumb?”

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  1. Mindy Findtner Avatar
    Mindy Findtner

    Wow! I feel like you wrote this just for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you.


  2. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    I feel like every one of your posts is directed at me personally! Still trying to find my way, and now trying to figure out how to guide my children (ages 12 and 14)…Thanks for your insights!


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      You’re welcome, Wendy. Thanks for reading!


  3. Cait Fitz Avatar
    Cait Fitz

    Still a favorite 🙂 Happy New Year!


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      I’m looking forward to your blog posts in 2015, Caitie!


  4. patchworkpoppies Avatar
    patchworkpoppies

    Reblogged this on patchwork poppies.


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Thanks, Nicole!


  5. holbart Avatar
    holbart

    • You have very high standards for your work. If you’re feeling pressure to be perfect, you abandon a project because you feel paralyzed.
    • You’re very sensitive to color so it really matters what colors you live with. Decisions, in general, are hard because you can think of way too many possibilities.

    Put these two together with being the daughter of a mom who was a professional florist and who just seemed to magically get interior design and fashion, and I am left with a sense of doom. i could never put a room together like she did, but I am always aware when something feels off.

    The strange thing is, I learned last year that i have natural aptitude for art (discovered through taking a few art classes) despite being legally blind in my early years. What was difficult about these classes was that the teacher saw my ability immediately and wanted to advance me through the levels, but, emotionally, I couldn’t handle his excitement (which felt like pressure). I felt like I still needed to go through the developmental steps of being artist. I just needed time to noodle around and play, take it in like a child would, in a way.


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Interesting points, Holbart. The pressure you felt when your abilities were noticed and the need to allow yourself to play and follow your own timeline. I’m guessing that others will relate to what you’re saying here.


  6. Natalie Avatar
    Natalie

    My gpa was horrible as an undergrad, I was more about how many classess I could take ( 21 -22 credits a semster) . And how much could I possibly learn.
    I would go the library check out 30 books, do all my research, but never turn my papers in.
    I ended up creating my own major.

    Several years later when I went to grad school – I ended up with 3.9 GPA, and upset they it would never be 4.0. All because I received a B in one of my discussion classess – I didnt talk enough.

    Funny how things change.

    I still dont feel smart, still not working in any of those fields, and still dont know what I want to do .

    Been in my house 8 years, bedrooms still not painted. Took about 5 just to do the living room and kitchen.


    1. paulaprober Avatar
      paulaprober

      Ah, yes, Natalie. Thanks for being such a great example!

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