YOUR RAINFOREST MIND

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How Can You Be Too Much And Not Enough At The Same Time?

photo courtesy of Joshua Earle, Unsplash

How is it possible to be both too much and not enough at the same time?

Here’s how:

Reasons you think that you are too much:

You question too much. You read too much. You think too much. You feel too much. You talk too much. You research too much. You do too much. You know too much.

You are too intense. Too sensitive. Too empathetic. Too curious. Too obsessive. Too smart. Too geeky. Too emotional. Too self-absorbed. Too compassionate. Too introspective. Too intuitive. Too analytical. Too creative. Too idealistic. Too weird.

Reasons you think that you are not enough:

You’ll never meet your high expectations. You know how much you don’t know. You haven’t won a Nobel prize. You haven’t invented anything “insanely great.” You dropped out of college. You dropped out of elementary school. You couldn’t save your parents from their dysfunctional patterns. You have too many interests. You haven’t settled on one career. You don’t have friends. Your mother said so. You haven’t lived up to “your great potential.” You’re easily overwhelmed. Your friends do so much more than you do. Your gifted child is getting bad grades in school and hitting kids on the playground. You make mistakes.

What is the truth?

If you have a rainforest mind, which you know you do, pretty much everything about you is MORE. It’s not too much. It’s just more. It’s natural for the jungle to be more. More life. More death. More growth. More wild. More you.

But not everyone is comfortable in the jungle. And your moreness probably includes massive amounts of self-analysis, self-criticism and self-awareness.

Which leads you to. You guessed it. Not enoughness.

How paradoxical of you.

Lucky that you have a rainforest mind so that you can appreciate paradox.

And what do you do about it?

Here’s an idea from one of our lovely bloggEEs:

“…I think it’s “ok” to be too much, but have come to understand that the mainstream sometimes needs it organized, categorized, and occasionally drip-fed to be palatable. Sort of a form of self-curation, a rotation of the collections… even the world’s greatest museums don’t have their entire collections on display…”

And here’s another idea from the great rainforest mind of Maya Angelou:

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”

_____________________________

To my bloggEEs: Do you struggle with too muchness and not enoughness? How do you handle it? Thank you to the reader who made the above comment and to the reader who inspired this post. Comments are greatly appreciated by all of us. Please. Show us your collection. We can handle it.

And if you’re looking for more support and strategies and haven’t read my book yet, well, what are you waitin’ fer??? And if you have read my book, thank you. Let us know your thoughts.

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Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

66 responses to “How Can You Be Too Much And Not Enough At The Same Time?”

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  1. Barb Paz Avatar
    Barb Paz

    It ‘them’ that says I do too much. I’m ok with me. When I am tired I rest, eat when hungry, sleep when tired. But the ‘ them’ won’t stop. I believe they are jealous that I still can and they have stopped trying!! Thank you for letting me share.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Nice to have you here, Barb.

      Reply
  2. Anita Taco Avatar
    Anita Taco

    I was exasperated tonight. Okay, I am exasperated most nights lately, but tonight was different. I wanted an answer, some reason why I care so very, very much about certain things that are of far less consequence, yet I could not possibly care less about other things that people around me deem so vitally important. I found something much better than just a single answer, I found comaraderie & whole slew of light bulb moments! (Some of my favorite moments to have, they spawn some of my best musings when writing about myself, trying to avoid 2nd round mistakes, and encourage 1st round triumphs. Although, I don’t care if it’s my 501st round, I’ll take any triumph at this point. LOL)

    I’m not religious, but the concept of people here in life to specifically be “Burden Bearers” was incredibly interesting to me when I 1st stumbled onto it. So I applied it to myself in a more karmic way than biblical form, and I still think it makes a good bit of sense to me. I feel like that a lot of times. Like I’m suffering, being misunderstood, punished, looked down on, disliked, kept at bay when all I want is closeness, so that others may not have to. Wow, trying to explain that just sounds incredibly narcissistic, “Oh, you poor little lamb, always the martyr, never the blessed!” LOL Okay, sorry, I just realized how pompous and dramatic that may sound, but I don’t mean it that way. People around me frequently notice how it seems like if anything is going to go wrong, get broken, messed up, be blamed, get in trouble, damaged, etc. it 9/10 times is something with me or mine. I don’t expect it to happen or attract it to me either. I just figure I must’ve really been a terrible wretch in a previous life. One that messed up a lot of people’s food, because almost every time we go out to eat, no matter how nice the place, if someone’s food is going to be wrong or not good, it’s mine. Like clockwork with only few exceptions or reprieves! It’s so frequent I laugh like a maniac when it happens now, what else can you do? It is such an obvious pattern, my whole family talks about it and it’s widely accepted amongst us as something that just “is” lol

    Anyhow, thanks for a brilliant article, I’m looking forward to receiving my copy of YRFM! I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be as I read your article. Thank you again!

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      You are so welcome, Anita! You’ve come to the right place. 🙂

      Reply
    2. j'adore champagne Avatar
      j’adore champagne

      I love that you recognise and can laugh. I had read about someone like that, and it was explained to him that he was capable of bearing the weight – the burden – and because he could… he did. And once he heard that, he understood and it was ok. He got it and I think its a bit of an honour!

      Reply
  3. Tauren Brown Avatar
    Tauren Brown

    Thank you for this time this timeless information.

    Reply
  4. stephaniedowrickthealmostperfectmarriage Avatar
    stephaniedowrickthealmostperfectmarriage

    More to the point this should be a life rule – I really can’t think of many occasions where using the word “too” as in too much or too little, really is helpful, especially when you refer to yourself, your own actions or way of being, or another person, or their actions or way of being, in this way. Just drop the word “too” altogether from your vocabulary when using it in that way. It really is an unhelpful judgement. If you do find yourself about to use the word ‘too’, or you here someone else say it, simply ask them “OK then, can you please tell me exactly what is the ‘right amount’ of whatever it is you are referring too” – if you or they can’t specify the ‘right amount’ then the use of the word ‘too is probably being used inappropriately. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Great idea! 🙂

      Reply
  5. Don’t Give Up On Yourself And Your Rainforest Mind | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] of your dreams and you don’t have perfect, high achieving children. Even if you feel like too much and not enough at the same time. Even if you’re post-menopausal. Even if you’re grieving for the […]

    Reply
  6. Barbara O' Donnell Avatar
    Barbara O’ Donnell

    Hello, I googled “too much of what I don’t need and not enough of what I do” today and came across your lovely website. What a gift. Taking your quiz, I ticked 15 boxes – I’ve always been told that I’m bright, but continue to argue with myself about this and what it means. The family background meant that if I wasn’t showing Mensa type intelligence, I wasn’t bright enough. Neither of my parents completed second level education, but my Dad would have been an engineer had he done so. He was an engineer and an artist. My mum would have written, except with four children in a rural area and a business dependent on seasonal income, other priorities take hold. I think the main thing is that I have felt like an outsider my entire life; you say something perfectly reasonable in company and you’re wierd. Plus points of course for being a woman and more for daring to say what you really think. 5 years with a wonderful psychotherapist, but I am still saying less in company as I get older. Thanks for putting this out here.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I’m so glad you’ve found my blog, Barbara. Keep reading! (and thanks for commenting)

      Reply
  7. April Avatar
    April

    In processing some past trauma and healing, today I wrote in my journal, I am not enough & too much at the same time, and this is where my heart has been wounded. I Googled that statement, and found this article. Thank GOD for this article. I am more, and that is a good thing. More passion, more love, more work-done-in-an-hour……. 🙂 thanks so much

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I’m so glad that you’ve found us, April. Keep reading. There’s even more to know and understand about yourself here.

      Reply
  8. j'adore champagne Avatar
    j’adore champagne

    You seem alike a rainforest mind to me! Also you sound like a very intelligent introvert; have you read Susan Cain’s book “Quiet”? Quite a lot of us feel like impostors when indeed we are the real deal. I’ll be happy to see your blog.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Yes, the real deal!

      Reply
  9. Astraea Sage Avatar
    Astraea Sage

    Thank you Paula…tick, tick…tick. I am too much. Not enough. Too intense. Most of that. Yet I’m not a Rainforest Mind. I’m no astrophysicist, no astounding intellectual being. I don’t get maths although quantum physics is blatantly how I see the world on a much more simplistic manner. I’m a bibliophile but not crazy clever – I’m not a walking dictionary…I’m just interested in natural health, the universe, energy healing, epigenetics, healing the cellular memory of my complex childhood trauma, unschooling, intuitve art, fermented foods, conscious parenting, stopping (well attempting to) ancestral wounds from passed on and other things but nothing complex, no rocket science here – I haven’t done anything with any of this knowledge. I’m too overwhelmed. Pitiful really. I’m not a RFM. Just a highly sensitive, intuitive, pompous (thank you mother for invalidating my world, again) person who’s wasted her brain due to laziness, uncertainty, lack of grit and procrastination. I went to a girls school where everyone was clever. I was an imposter. Definitely an alien! After years of struggle I’ve decided to write a blog. Perhaps it’s pointless. But there’s a possibility that My Truth could help someone and I’ve wondered what the point is of my pain for so long that I have no choice but to begin. My husband and son however, I think they are RFMs. Thank you for this blog – Ad Astra…Astraea Sage

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Oh, Astraea, I could so quote you as such a great example of a rainforest mind! Keep reading my blog. You’ll find yourself everywhere!! Congrats on starting your blog!

      Reply
    2. j'adore champagne Avatar
      j’adore champagne

      So much of what you say about yourself is the RFM as I read about it. But there isn’t enough time nor energy in the day for everything! And how does one choose? All of your interests are important! I understand what you say. Just keep going!

      Reply
  10. Gabi Avatar
    Gabi

    Yes, I often filter my everything so I don’t freak people out. I just started a new job a couple of months ago. I’m learning who I can be myself with and who gets overwhelmed. I’m pretty good at finding my kin. Sometimes it’s lonely, then I reach out to my folks online or just at home.
    My home is a safe harbor. While there are many gifted in the house, some are not as “sensitive” as I am and that can get me ruffled at times. I just tell myself, they don’t understand how that freaks you out. (I hate to be tickled, it feels invasive and overwhelming, and I am always told I’m too serious or too sensitive) It’s a gift, is what I say.
    I can remember many moments in my life where I realized I just raised an eyebrow with my words, nothing offensive, merely out of the ordinary, but it is an odd feeling when you realize you may have let your freak flag fly a bit too much. Find the kindred spirits in your world and hang on to each other..

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Hello kindred spirit!

      Reply
  11. Jenny Moss Avatar
    Jenny Moss

    I appreciate the phrase curated self. It doesn’t feel like I am being less to make others comfortable, but that I’m making conscious decisions about what to share with particular people in specific circumstances. Thanks!

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I think that’s an important distinction, Jenny. It makes sense to be selective about what and how much you share. Thanks!

      Reply
  12. Gail Post, Ph.D. Avatar
    Gail Post, Ph.D.

    Great post and wonderful description of the conflicting feelings so many gifted people feel. So unfortunate that so many never feel they are just right!

    Reply
    1. Aideen Avatar
      Aideen

      So true! I love how Paula describes this paradox so well known to probably every single rainforest mind. But it is a deep pain to me too to see talented teens and adults struggle and question who they really are. On the other hand, this became a strong driving force to me over time. It made me realize that we need more coaches and therapists like Paula as well as well informed (gifted) adults who spread these messages and help more members of the rainforest community realize why they are the way they are and, even more importantly, that this is perfectly all right for them just where they are at in their lives right at the moment.
      <3
      Let's spread the message everyone!

      Reply
      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Yes, spread the message! The world needs our rainforest minds now more than ever. Thanks Aideen.

        Reply
  13. Lucinda Leo Avatar
    Lucinda Leo

    I can’t believe it hadn’t occurred to me before that another word for rainforest is ‘jungle’!! It makes the RFM analogy even better for my family. I especially love your words, ‘It’s natural for the jungle to be more.’ I can literally feel the tension easing out of me as I say those words. Thank you, Paula.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Yes. Jungle. I only use it occasionally but it is so fitting. I love that you’re using the analogy in your presentations!

      Reply
  14. willenajeanebelden Avatar
    willenajeanebelden

    So me! I can understand myself and why I feel these things a bit better now. This is the story of my life. Thank you for this post!

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing!

      Reply
  15. Accessible Travel Online Avatar
    Accessible Travel Online

    I just need to meet you – what about the RainforestMind Connection Week every other year? So we can all save up some money to be there and we all will meet and talk and have dinner and go out in nature for hikes and just ABSORB all of it. Like in Spain. or Florida. Or Switzerland or on some island like on the Azores …

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I love this idea but I’d need someone to coordinate it all!! And, truth be told, I’m a bit of a homebody/introvert. I kind of like communicating from the comfort of my sweet home. But, for those who can make it to Chicago in August, I’ll be speaking at the SENG conference, which is all about rainforest minds. http://sengifted.org/seng-annual-conference-2017/ I’d love to meet you there or any of my bloggEEs who can manage the trip.

      Reply
      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Here’s a link to the program for the SENG conference. Lots of wonderful information and people! http://sengifted.org/conference-2017-programming-schedule/

        Reply
  16. multifoliate Avatar
    multifoliate

    Many times I simply say I’m “too” and leave it at that. The blanks are too numerous to be filled.

    Last night I contacted my gifted teacher from elementary school and asked if I had been placed in there by mistake. If I was gifted or merely academically inclined. I am not sure that I belong anywhere.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      If you’re relating to my posts, chances are very good that you are gifted!

      Reply
  17. homeeducation713 Avatar
    homeeducation713

    Hi, I’m Sharron, I just want to say I love this and I am so glad I came across this site. I know I’m ok but it’s great to feel validated and to know there are lots of others out there. Thank you so much for creating the site.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      You’re welcome. Thanks for being here.

      Reply
  18. Nimue Brown Avatar
    Nimue Brown

    Oddly, before reading this I’d put together a blog post for the weekend about relationships, and having spent much of my life feeling i couldn’t do relationships because i am usually too mush, too serious, too intense for people….

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      We must be in sync, Nimue!!

      Reply
  19. helenjnoble Avatar
    helenjnoble

    Reblogged this on helenjnoble.

    Reply
  20. Mark V Avatar
    Mark V

    Over the years I’ve gotten used to being too much for others. I’ve also gotten used to being able to sense from others the strong feeling that I am too much for them. But what I have never gotten used to is the common assumption that my “too muchness” is symptomatic of a negative, toxic personality.

    When your basic impulse is to share the best aspects of yourself and the unique way you perceive the world through your strong abilities to analyze the old and then create the new, that hurts. A lot.

    To be sure, most of those kinds of assumptions are formed from ignorance and fear and yet somehow that makes the injustice and cruelty of it all the more keenly felt. When you merely want the best for not just yourself but for everyone else too, it takes an enormous amount of mental discipline to not let that completely destroy any positive ideas you have of yourself.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I’m glad you have us, Mark, to remind you that your muchness is a good thing.

      Reply
      1. Mark V Avatar
        Mark V

        Thanks so much Paula. (I actually meant to thank you in my comment for writing such a nice post).

        On my doctor’s referral I have a session booked with a new therapist next week, however I don’t know if this therapist has any experience with giftedness. So I re-read a couple of your other posts about choosing therapists and am taking your advice and will be carefully “shopping” during that first session. If I see any reluctance at all to acknowledge the importance that giftedness or 2e issues are when it comes to my mental health, then I am prepared to say “thanks but no thanks”, and walk away.

        Obviously that would not bet an ideal outcome, but I’ve learned a big part of self-care is giving yourself permission to say “no”.

        Reply
        1. Paula Prober Avatar
          Paula Prober

          Absolutely. Permission to say ‘no.’

          Reply
          1. Mark V Avatar
            Mark V

            Communication…that’s really at the crux of being “too much”, isn’t it? Because when you’re a native of the rainforest, you likely speak languages that few outsiders understand. In the rainforest you have so much to say and to share that it’s frustrating when but people don’t understand what you’re trying to communicate. That frustration gets pushed to the limit when the people who don’t understand your Rainforest dialects are doctors or therapists, especially when it keeps happening over and over again.

            Reply
            1. Mark V Avatar
              Mark V

              Well I’ve been to see the new psychologist, and just to make sure we got around to talking about giftedness, I actually wrote a letter and sent it to his office a few days before our appointment. (Is that kind of weird I did that? I’m just being thorough. Haha)

              It basically said: “It is important to me that you know that I am gifted, perhaps profoundly so. As yet none of my experiences telling therapists that I am gifted have been pleasant or fruitful. And because I have been misdiagnosed, misunderstood or mismedicated so many times, I think I am understandably being very cautious.”

              I concluded the letter by pasting your blog “What Psychotherapists Need to Know About Gifted Clients”

              When I stepped into his office he waved the letter in his hand and said “very interesting”. Then it wasn’t mentioned again. He talked about the options I have such as one-on-one therapy, but he seemed more keen on getting me interested in a group therapy program. (After reading the pamphlet at home, it turns out it is pretty much the same lengthy outpatient group program that was such a disastrous waste of time for me two decades ago. Umm, thanks but no thanks. Giftedness does not rank high on “topics we talk about in group.”)

              He concluded our meeting with the recommendation that I see their psychiatrist for more…more WHAT exactly? I didn’t understand. Frankly I was barely listening at that point because my mind was reeling due to the fact my doctor and I specifically requested in my referral that I was not interested in seeing any more psychiatrists (for the exact reasons I explained in my letter!).

              Sigh. I guess some things never change. Back to the hunt.

              P.S. Maybe I need to get a crowdfunding project going so I can raise the money to travel or move to see a therapist that knows what’s the heck is up! 🙂

              Reply
              1. Paula Prober Avatar
                Paula Prober

                Keep on the hunt, Mark. You’ll find someone. You found a good doc, right? Don’t give up.

                Reply
                1. Mark V Avatar
                  Mark V

                  Nope, not giving up! I just wonder sometimes though, that these roadblocks that keep popping up are not coincidences, that perhaps they are actually road SIGNS trying to tell me something. Pride in perserverence? Stick to my guns? Humility? Hmmm….

                  Thanks!!

                  Reply
    2. Anita Taco Avatar
      Anita Taco

      Mark, you’ve nailed it so succinctly, what I could not, have not been able to verbalize for years! When people are so quick to discard the very things that make me most who I am, then they wait for my gratitude, as if I should thank them for “straightening me out” and making me “acceptable,” or more “palettable” to others. When their dictator-esque uninvited overhaul brings out the inner rebellious teen in me, it just further solidifies in their mind the toxicity of mine.

      I try to abide by the mantra, “What other people think about me is none of my business.” It’s next to impossible though when you value your loved ones and connection. My biggest fear is that I’ll die without anyone having ever really, truly been known for who I really am. I read something last week that said, “I know who I am, and that’s enough.” I see the wisdom and truth in that, but I’m not there yet by any means, but I hope to be someday.

      Reply
      1. Anita Taco Avatar
        Anita Taco

        I wanted to specify that I was replying to your very 1st comment, Mark. I didn’t see the whole chain until after I posted my reply, I was just too excited to read someone sum up my experiences so many times in life!

        It’s so frustrating knowing how much goodness, kindness, empathy, compassion, etc. you have in you, but yet no one seems to see it like we do. It’s enough to make one think they imagine it, and instead, must just not see how bad they really are. Or at least it does for me. I start to feel that whatever amount of positive qualities I have, my negatives must vastly outweigh them.

        My biggest interest is in Psychology. I didn’t have many opportunities growing up, and took a wrong turn in my teen years, so I didn’t get to fulfill any potential that I could have that would’ve required University, like a Psychologist, but I severely regret that now. Especially with how passionate and fascinated I am with the inner workings and dynamics of all of us. I have been having some trouble crop up over & over in my marriage the past 2 years and have been desperately searching for answers to help fix our newfound issues. After 13 years of smooth, loving, happy sailing I refuse to believe there is no answer! Anyhow, in my endless search (I’m starting my 89th book in 2 years from any subject that might help like marriage, psychology, self help, personal development, male/female dynamic, male psychology, you name it! If it could even slightly help, I’ve read it in search for an answer to our issues. I’ve learned love languages, been to Mars and Venus, I’ve Surrendered, Acted like a Lady & Thought like A Man, etc. etc. & so many more! You get my point, I’m sure) In my search, I ran across one of the most outstanding psychologists I’ve ever read. I think his theories behind our sense of self should be required reading in school! I only wish he would’ve also packaged it in a book that wasn’t about sexual problems in longterm relationships! He believes that relationships are Mother Nature’s “people growing” mechanism. He teaches about having a solid, flexible sense of self that relies only on yourself for validation and completeness. There’s very true and excellent reasons it applies to couples, but I cannot think of a single reason why it wouldn’t benefit every person on earth to develop his 4 Points of Balance in what he calls The Crucible. He is in Colorado, does retreats every year, and has quite a few books. His latest is delving further into neuroscience, I haven’t read it yet, but I’m itching to!
        I want to touch on his theory behind the solid, flexible sense of self, but I can’t do it justice! He has 4 points to balance oneself into a solid person that doesn’t rely on the reflected sense of self that is necessary in childhood, but most have never moved beyond once it no longer serves us. So we feel best about ourselves when other people reflect back what we want to see, but they tire of that eventually and typically that’s when gridlocked, repetitive fights come into a relationship. It’s the other person saying,” I can’t prop you up anymore” I still firmly believe developing this solid flexible sense of self is needed regardless of relationship status, that’s why it saddens me he hasn’t put it into a standalone book. The typical person not in need of a relationship book would be unlikely to find and read it. He does have a website that has an interactive module of the 4 points and how to use them, why, etc. That is standalone and leaves the relationship mostly out of it. I can’t say enough how helpful his work has been for me! Dr. David Schnarch. I don’t know if I’m allowed to post links, if not, feel free to remove it and I apologize! I just know this has the potential to help so many with relational issues, & not just significant other relationships.
        https://crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance

        I implore everyone to at least take a peak and see if it speaks to you. I have become so taken by his brilliant approach to personal development that if I were to get to meet him, I would act like some gals would meeting Johnny Depp ! LOL

        Anyhow, I don’t want to rattle on and on more than I have already! Brevity is obviously not my strength! I can’t help it! I’m sorry! LOL

        I hope perhaps maybe he can be of even a small help to someone like he has for me, but I hope he’s a huge help for everyone. I felt similar tonight stumbling onto this blog and discovering the book Your Rainforest Mind, as I did when I found Dr. Schnarch’s work! I see this being of great help to me also as soon as I receive it. (I felt like I needed a physical copy, the part of me that loves the instant gratification Kindle copies give had to be quieted and overcome…lol)

        Reply
        1. Paula Prober Avatar
          Paula Prober

          It’s fine to post the link, Anita. I’d seen a book by Schnarch years ago but didn’t look at it closely. Will have to take another look. I’m so glad that you found my blog and that you’ve ordered my book. I do hope that you experience a similar sense of being seen and understood! Glad to have you here.

          Reply
      2. Mark V Avatar
        Mark V

        Well what took you so long? I wrote all of that just for you and then there was two years of…nothing. Two years of waiting to hear if you were paying attention, two years of waiting for confirmation that I hadn’t wasted my time shouting into a vacuum.

        Of course I’m kidding.

        I’m glad something I wrote resonates with someone. I’m trying to write a memoir but whenever I get close to the truth which touches on some really intense, dark stuff that terrifies most people, the more I think it’s a waste of time to be writing to a tiny-to-nonexistent audience. Your comment means there’s still a few of you crazy cats out there… 🙂

        Reply
  21. cmd1122 Avatar
    cmd1122

    Thanks for this post, Paula. Knowing too much (climate change comes to mind) and also knowing how much I don’t know (about endless topics) sometimes make me panic. Being a new teacher (with the never-ending “To Do” list) to teens who don’t always seek to look beyond their own realities (while the world is experiencing o many horrific things) makes me question if there is not something more useful I could be doing to contribute to greater good on Mother Earth. I do my best go beyond the curriculum, help students make links between subject areas, and push them to be critical thinkers, but I know that to many of them, I am just another adult who seems to tell them what to do for a few hours every week. (*insert sigh…*)

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Don’t underestimate the impact you might have on those teens, particularly the ones here and there with rainforest minds! Teachers can be quite influential, even just in how they are in the world or in their enthusiasm for what they’re teaching. That said, it can also be important for you to change paths if there’s something else that would feed your soul in ways that allow you to contribute more. Thank you for sharing your experience with us!

      Reply
      1. cmd1122 Avatar
        cmd1122

        Thanks for your encouragement, Paula. I will keep at it for a while longer. As I gain more experience I hope to be able to do more things that have a greater impact. And I will keep collaborating with other teachers to try to make more magic happen. I definitely have several kids with rainforest minds, and one of your previous posts made me think about what I can do to serve them better. I don’t often comment, but I read and take away something from each and every one of your posts–so thank you.

        Reply
        1. Paula Prober Avatar
          Paula Prober

          You’re welcome, cmd1122. I appreciate hearing from you!

          Reply
  22. Dragonwyst Avatar
    Dragonwyst

    This is me to a T. And I feel I have to apologise for it all the time. It’s accentuated by my work on my M.Ed(Social Ecology) which is forcing me to use more of all those things so that I can’t hide them away. And then imposter syndrome sets in, and I feel bad for getting high distinctions when my fellow students didn’t. And at the same time I know that is illogical and unreasonable – but that’s all OK. It’s not easy to shift from one way of being to another and find a new place to be comfortable in, but that’s what this degree is doing as it fits me so well. Love it when things like Bid Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron are required reading for Applied Imagination 🙂

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      So glad to hear you’re in a degree program that fits you, Dragonwyst. I think we all need to start apologizing less!!

      Reply
    2. j'adore champagne Avatar
      j’adore champagne

      Have you read “Quiet”, by Susan Cain?

      Reply
    3. Gabi Avatar
      Gabi

      Lucky you! I have had The Artist’s Way on my shelf of to do and to read but am afraid I will not measure up to whatever, or find out I’m not really an artist. Social Ecology sounds fascinating.

      Reply
      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        As I recall from The Artist’s Way, you don’t actually need to be an artist to use it and benefit from it! So go for it, Gabi!

        Reply
  23. Jessie Avatar
    Jessie

    Yep, most of the things on here apply to me. It’s odd, because I think most of us like this feel odd, so it’s odder still to see that it fits a certain model. (And I find that comforting!)

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Interesting, Jessie. I’ve heard from some clients that they don’t like fitting into a group, even if it’s being gifted! It’s a mixed bag, isn’t it.

      Reply
  24. Beth Heinecamp Avatar
    Beth Heinecamp

    I think these are all the reasons why gifted people *really* need friends in their lives who can, in the words of one of your blogEE’s, ‘appreciate [our] various collections’. There are others like myself, I’m sure, who, not having enough closer friends, have basically clamped down long enough and hard enough on their true selves to the point where they feel detached and repressed. I remember once years ago a friend and I were just chatting about books (she’s passed on) and she shared with me that she just couldn’t understand why John Grisham was so popular. I just shook my head and replied, ‘I have no clue.’ We shared a delicious moment together and just smiled.

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Yes, I’m sure there are so many who’ve “clamped down” and feel “detached and repressed.” Keep looking for those friends with whom you can show more of your true self. They’re out there, Beth!

      Reply
  25. Jessica Avatar
    Jessica

    This is me to a T! I’m always beating myself up for every one of these things. “You question too much. You read too much. You think too much. You feel too much. You talk too much. You research too much. You do too much. You know too much.
    You are too intense. Too sensitive. Too empathetic. Too curious. Too obsessive. Too smart. Too geeky. Too emotional. Too self-absorbed. Too compassionate. Too introspective. Too intuitive. Too analytical. Too creative. Too idealistic. Too weird.”

    Every one of them! My son is also gifted and I struggle not to be overwhelmed by his “too much-ness” too. My poor husband gets caught in the middle when we are both at the end of our overwhelmed ropes. I love this article so much. I’m going to share it far and wide!

    Reply
    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Thanks for sharing “far and wide” Jessica! I hope lots of folks find it helpful.

      Reply
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