There is a deep satisfaction in being understood. Being truly seen. Receiving an authentic response from someone who has heard, grasped, and appreciated your particular, unique voice. Your multidimensional, nuanced, unusual thinking, feeling, and knowing. It can bring me to tears when I experience being met in this way. Surely, we all need this.
But what if your particular voice plays melodies at levels many people do not have the capacity to hear? What if your exceptional mind thinks at depths where many people can not dive or sees technicolor visions when others see black, white, and occasional grays?
Well. You may often feel misunderstood, criticized, or rejected. And yet. It may be that friends, family, and coworkers do not intentionally want to misunderstand or reject you. It may be that their capacity to receive all of who you are is limited. Some would say the difference is, in fact, neurological. I do not know the brain science. But I speculate: Perhaps you have more neurons firing in more regions of your brain more often, or more synapses connecting more quickly. Perhaps the particular version of neurodiversity for the gifted, rainforest-minded brain, is an extraordinarily awake, alive, dynamic, and intricately interconnected superhighway. Or, as we say here, a lush, fertile, bountiful, prolific, teeming rainforest.
You may not realize that others have less capacity and that they may only be able to see certain parts of you. But knowing this can explain a lot. It can explain the blank stares. The misinterpretations. The inaccurate assumptions. Sadly, you may never feel completely seen by anyone. Or completely met. Or completely understood. Now you know, this is not your fault. It is no one’s fault.
Think about it. How can anyone truly fathom the entire rainforest?
How, then, do you find others who also see all of the colors, hear all of the notes, feel the range of emotions you feel so that you might be seen, met, understood? And if you have been looking for a long time and not found them, have you interpreted this to mean you are crazy, wrong, or neurotic?
Well. You are not crazy, wrong, or neurotic.
OK, you may be a little neurotic. (I certainly am.) This is where a little therapy can help. But you are not wrong. Or crazy.
Seriously, the more gifted you are, the harder all of this will be. It seems that planet earth has not created a whole lot of rainforest-minded souls yet. And, most unfortunately, even if you find one, all rainforest minds do not necessarily grok each other.
I am guessing this explanation is not helping you feel better.
Truth be told, when I meet with clients, I do not understand every single part of them. And I have years of training and experience. But, as I have stated on frequent occasions, my giftedness is somewhere between barely and somewhat. On a good day. So my clients’ intellectual capacities are usually more vast, more melodic, and more technicolor than mine.
I am guessing this is not good news either.
But, how about this: I am proof that you can still find someone who gets you, enough. Someone who loves your melodies, depths, and visions. Who is not intimidated or overwhelmed by your intellectual musings and speedy, analytical, intuitive observations. Who embraces your enormous heart and your lonely despair. Who acknowledges your exhaustion and needs in spite of your accomplishments. Who loves you for you.
And, in the meantime, what if YOU truly see YOURSELF in all of your multitudes.
What if, starting today, you love you for you.
To my bloggEEs: Does this information help you understand the differences in capacity so you are not so hard on yourself and misinterpreting some of your difficulty with relationships? What are you doing to better understand and love yourself? And, yep, I am sending you some big love. Right now! Thank you, as always, for being here.