A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You Are Sensitive And Smart — Part One

(photo by Kelly Sikkema)

“…I see patterns everywhere, in everything. I can’t help making connections. It’s like the world speaks to me. Things happen to me that don’t happen to normal people…”

“…To me, love can be felt and lived and seen everywhere, even in darker times and places…”

“…People don’t often understand my sense of humor, because they can’t see the movie playing out in my head (trust me, it’s hilarious). Others have told me they are ‘intimidated’ by my book collection…”

“…I cannot imagine how hard it is to love me as a partner…”

“…Why can’t I just start with the most important information? It seems I cannot, because it is a web of interconnected aspects that spans across space and time. Words tumble in my mind, but as soon as I try to condense them into a concrete sentence to speak or write down, I get blocked and fall silent because I can never do justice to the web and all its nuances. This makes me feel sad and desperate to connect…”  (Comments sent to me by blog readers)

Where do I begin, then, to talk about love? How in the world do I approach this topic when it is so darned complex, you are so darned complicated, and, well, I am intimidated by your book collection?

I will let the psychotherapist in me take the reins. She knows what to say. She has opinions, biases, and years of experience with you people.

This is what she told me to write:

Probably the most important message I can send you today is this: Make time to do the deep inner work that allows you to love yourself. An obvious message. But often misunderstood or dismissed or ridiculed. (This is not about selfishness or self-centeredness or new age mumbo jumbo. Keep reading.) Mind you, you do not have to love yourself perfectly and utterly. You can still have self-doubt and anxieties. But, the thing is, if you have grown up with neglect, abuse, or other types of trauma, or even if you haven’t and are *just* grappling with giftedness, it is very possible, you will have some difficulty with self-love. And, it is even possible you will misinterpret what love is. You might base your understanding of love on what you experienced in your family of origin and then find relationships (friends, partners) that provide that kind of familiar non-love. So, you may even have to figure out what love actually is. And, then, learn the self-love tango.

Sounds kinda daunting, I know. But if I can do it, so can you.

Inner work helps you untangle these intricate sticky vines and gain clarity about what real love might look like, feel like, and be. It allows you to break old family cycles and legacies and find new more nurturing, nourishing pathways. Pathways to love. Pathways to higher love, generous love, divine love.

Here is what one bloggEE wrote about this:

“… a non-understanding parent (mother in my case), as well as a non-understanding and jealous sibling, multiple trauma in my teens and after, as well as a history in the family from the war in Indonesia, second generation trauma. I write this first to explain the background, which became clear to me in my late 40’s. I’m 52 now, and looking back I can understand why some relationships couldn’t make it. Some were ‘doomed’ from the start because I didn’t know who I was, what I was carrying inside me. With the wisdom now of who I am, what I’m capable of… with my realization that I am in fact a RFM, an HSP, gifted (2 or 3E), and what not, I ‘know’ now that I did the right thing to stay single until I had sorted myself out. Came to accept and learned to live with my past experiences…”

I am not saying you need to stay single until you are sorted out. After all, sorting out may take a while. (And, then, in typical rainforest-minded form, you will not stop there. You may go from there to a tiny transformation so that your self-love spills out to family, friends, neighbors, adversaries, people you haven’t met, animals, and plants. You are rainforest-minded after all. And this is the deeper purpose of self-love, in case you wondered.) The more you understand and grieve for the lost, wounded child within, the more love (in various and sundry forms) will find you.

I speak from experience. Not just with clients but with myself. I started as a client in therapy in my 30’s, coming from a cold, avoidant, emotionally and sexually abusive, dysfunctional middle class white Jewish family immersed in lots of barely under the surface fear, rage, shame, and generational trauma. It has been a long journey of therapy, journaling, breath work, guided imagery, energy work, internal family systems, somatic experiencing, soul collage, acupuncture, reading, workshops, and more. I have been in two partnerships that re-enacted my early experiences of so-called love. Over the years, in safe relationships with therapists and other practitioners and in my trusty journal, I began to explore and heal the abandonment, loneliness, invasion, shame, fear, rage, and loss. And I tenderly reparented the lonely little ones inside me. I began to soften, to defrost, to unburden, to release, to grieve, to put the pieces of my broken heart back together.

And authentic love (in various and sundry forms) found me. And is still finding me. Deeply nurturing, intimate friendships. New connections with family. Spiritual community. Argentine tango. Work that feeds my creativity and passions. Meaningful, sweet, close connections with soulful clients and sensitive readers around the world who send me fan mail. Writing. Spiritual guides. A sense of humor. Music. Books. And a powerful, fierce, glowing, pure Light within that appears to be my new identity. Or my original identity, released. And now I freely spread the love around. Hither and yon. With abandon. And even a little glee.

So. The psychotherapist in me recommends it: The self-love tango. Rediscovering your own powerful, fierce, glowing pure Light. And, even in these hard times, especially in these hard times, spreading it around. Hither and yon. With abandon. And even a little glee.


To my bloggEEs: I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, I have decided not to write the book on rainforest mind love and relationships because, the good news, it can actually be covered in a few blog posts. (Did you see that coming?) I know you were quite enthusiastic about the project and many of you wrote to me. I am sorry to disappoint you but there are some excellent resources that may not be RFM specific but still provide the important information you need. (I will tell you where to find them.)

And, for even more good news, I am working instead on a book that will become a guided journal for rainforest minds. It will guide you in deepening your understanding of yourself through writing and drawing prompts and inspirational quotes/memes that will be fun, deep-diving, and healing. I will include some of my own personal journal entries as examples. This new book will be the third in a trilogy where you acquire self-understanding, self-acceptance, and then discover your path(s) to the future and to finding your particular rainforest-y way to create a better world.

So, my sweetest, dearest rainforesters, this is part one of the Love Posts. There will at least be one more where I write more specifically about relationships and partnerships. (And share more of your quotes.) Let us know what you think so far. I didn’t actually plan to share so much about me! Eek! But I suspect it might be helpful. Yes? Thank you, as always, for commenting. We are doing the love tango here for sure.

Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

35 responses to “A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You Are Sensitive And Smart — Part One”

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  1. Mia Avatar

    The group wasn’t growing so is now deleted.

  2. pprober Avatar

    I’m not connected with this group. Good luck with it!!

  3. A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You are Sensitive and Smart – Part Three – YOUR RAINFOREST MIND

    […] back to our three part dive into love and relationships! Part One, looked at self-love and the many kinds of love. Part Two, ventured into partnerships. Part Three […]

  4. A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You Are Sensitive and Smart – Part Two – YOUR RAINFOREST MIND

    […] part one we talked about the importance of self-love and how there are many kinds of love, including: […]

  5. A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You are Sensitive and Smart — Part Three | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] back to our three part dive into love and relationships! Part One, looked at self-love and the many kinds of love. Part Two, ventured into partnerships. Part Three […]

  6. A Short Guide to Love and Relationships When You Are Sensitive and Smart — Part Two | Your Rainforest Mind

    […] part one we talked about the importance of self-love and how there are many kinds of love, including: […]

  7. Georgia Patrick Avatar
    Georgia Patrick

    That is great news, Paula. A guided journal for the rainforest minds is exactly what I was expecting for the trilogy. Because I’m walking that same path, to do the journal for gifted professionals and communicators, I would be glad to support your work, whatever way you would welcome it. You have a lifetime of scientific study and therapy practice as your foundation. I was not the subject-matter expert in my work with hundreds of professions; instead, I was the writer, rewriter, and storyteller for their professional journey. That makes me valuable as the navigator in the cockpit with the pilots because I have no opinion on whether or not they should be flying. My job is to read the maps, make new maps, communicate, and get everyone to the next destination.

    Whatever shape or timing your project takes, I’m willing to serve as an accelerator or extender. I have found gifted professionals have one wish and that is to clone themselves so that they can do all they imagine before they die. If there were only two of me, they tell me, they could form the perfect team for every project. No clone? Then the next best thing is “OTHER” gifted professional who “gets” me and doesn’t need much supervision.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Thanks, Georgia. Perhaps you could email me to give me more details about what you are suggesting and some examples of your work.

  8. cn Avatar

    Paula, and her followers, you might want to read this writing from Brenee Brown on self-love: https://brenebrown.com/articles/2018/05/24/the-midlife-unraveling/ She has this humorous but strong and lively style of hers.

    “I find it easier to think about midlife as midlove. After two decades of research on shame, authenticity, and belonging, I’m convinced that loving ourselves is the most difficult and courageous thing we’ll ever do. Maybe we’ve been given a finite amount of time to find that self-love, and midlife is the halfway mark. It’s time to let go of the shame and fear and embrace love. Time to fish or cut bait.”


    “Whatever the issue, it seems as if we spend the first half of our lives shutting down feelings to stop the hurt and the second half trying to open everything back up to heal the hurt.”


    “I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing—these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt—has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.” – Brene Brown

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Good to know Brene Brown and I are on the same page, cn. Thank you for sharing this!!

  9. Sheep’s Wool Avatar
    Sheep’s Wool

    Quoting a reader from your post above:
    “…Why can’t I just start with the most important information? It seems I cannot, because it is a web of interconnected aspects that spans across space and time. Words tumble in my mind, but as soon as I try to condense them into a concrete sentence to speak or write down, I get blocked and fall silent because I can never do justice to the web and all its nuances. This makes me feel sad and desperate to connect…”

    This is stunning. ❤️ It’s beautiful, expressive and perfect.

    Your entire post is stunning, Paula. It’s one of your best, and that’s saying something.
    Thank you for helping us draw ourselves out again. This soul work is vital, I sense, for helping us know who we are in our magnificence.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Magnificence, yes!! Thank you, Sheep’s Wool.

      1. cherylhlmn Avatar

        I am struck by the fact that this village has done so much for my life.

        I will start with this truth. I can, and often will say “their brain is broken” when describing people and situations.

        Many people, my wife included, originally take offence with my statement.

        When I explain, that for me, it helps me with human compassion. I am able to let go of expectations; which in turn allows others to either not get me, not get the connections that I am able to make in situations, or match my processing speed. Long time friends, still do not like the label…but they can see how a frame of “they can’t do x” really gives those around me the freedom to show up as they are. I use that language with myself too when I simply cannot engage in small talk as an example.

        As my wife says to me…”as an engineer, I logically know that I am not as “slow” as you may see me. But when you apply your own logic around my brain being broken in this situation…you seem to be better at displaying respect”.

        My experience is this…Rainforest minds see the world in colours that others cannot. We are wired differently, which on an evolutionary scale, is really important.

        1. Paula Prober Avatar
          Paula Prober

          I can see how people might misinterpret that “broken brain” expression but it sounds like you and your wife find it helpful. Glad to have you in the village, cheryl!

          1. cherylhlmn Avatar

            It is true, that the words are harsh Paula. But it gives me pause to interact with people in ways that stop my rainbow mind from going down some rabbit hole of trying to find the “right words”, different ways to express information, or to tend my own bruised feelings of “otherness”.

  10. Me Avatar

    I struggle so much to even accept, never mind love myself.
    I still feel rejected, like that little 4-year old that was put second when my sibling was born. I was told not to be jealous… I was only 4… 50 years fast forward not a lot has changed. The rejection, the rivalry between siblings, all still there. I am not part of that family, for all of them I have mostly been too much, too complicated, too sensitive, just too everything. And then there is the generational trauma, my parents were born during the 2.world war, which has never even been acknowledged.
    Gabor Maté said something in the line of that parents cannot see their children‘s trauma if they have not acknowledged their own, very true.
    I have the knowledge about what happened, what caused what, yet emotionally I am a wreck….

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Gabor Mate’s work is quite helpful for understanding the healing process, Me. And therapy when it just feels like too much to do alone??

  11. Leafy Avatar

    So many aspects of this post spoke to my life experience and my understanding of the world. I remember clearly when people would date in high school and I couldn’t fathom doing so until I knew myself better. It would just seem like we were so young and had so much to figure out: how could I expect to create a healthy relationship with a partner if so much looked confusing? And confusing it was, considering I would question just about everything, cultural norms especially, and would search for answers constantly by reading, reading and reading some more, and sometimes trying something new for experience.

    About reparenting our inner child, this reminds me a lot of a similar approach called schema therapy (which has a lot in common with internal family systems actually, I think). It postulates that as children, we all have fundamental needs: to be loved, understood, guided and secure, to have our autonomy supported and granted in age-appropriate ways, to have opportunities to explore and affirm our identities, to play and have fun, and finally to have structure and realistic limits set. Any major shortcoming in those areas, and we develop “schemas”, which are deeply emotionally held truths about the world that recreate painful patterns in our lives.

    I’ve come to believe that as rainforest minds, we are especially likely to develop schemas in our childhood that are related to unmet love needs. Whereas our rainforest minds have the possibility to shine far and bright, and to experience deep love, joy and happiness along with healthy sadness and anxiety (of the type that show we care and make us appreciate the good parts of life since we’re able to look at the bad parts directly and to process them fully), we end up suffering even more from trauma.

    In particular, we are likely to feel emotionally deprived, since many don’t fit the view their parents have for them, and don’t end up having someone who nurtures, guides AND understands them deeply. The empathy/understanding need is so often unmet in my experience in RFMs. We may have cold parents, or nurturing but not very , truly open (and not simply tolerant or easygoing) parents. We then go to recreate relationships where we are similarly misunderstood and don’t feel truly seen and heard. I have been blessed with exceptionally loving and understanding parents (RFMs themselves), but most of my RFM friends haven’t had that happen and are still struggling with the effects. It’s hard.

    Another very common need that’s unmet is understanding from the larger community, such as peers and teachers. We may be bullied, or if not, unable to really connect with peers our own age. In fact, this seems so common that in the book, the creator of this theory mentions that gifted people, especially if they have an introspective, intellectual, emotional or sensitive personality, often simply can’t connect with children or teenagers in their age group. They then grow into adults who are convinced they simply can’t find connections, deep, authentic ones, with other people and the community at large, that they are bound to err like lost souls in the world around them. It takes very understanding parents, who actively advocate for their child’s education and provide them with opportunities to be in environments where they are really well and accepted to offset that to some degree.

    What’s interesting is schemas, according to the inventors of the approach, are also experienced through schema “modes”, our emotional states when they become active. Many modes are related to our childlike self: the child inside who hurts, is being abused, abandoned, misunderstood or excluded; the child who feels vulnerable, alone and unloved. Other modes are related for example to building walls around us or using substance, to avoid feeling that pain that the inner child feels. But as long as that child is not listened to, cared for and healed, real progress is impossible. And that’s not easy, because not only must we comfort that child when they weren’t comforted, we must actively fight in our adult lives against the dysfunctional modes and schemas who prevent us to love ourselves and to spread that around us. It takes repeatedly changed thoughts, emotions and importantly, behaviors to do it. I thought this view echoed a lot mentioned in this post on love for us as RFMs.

    Thank you so much for this post and for all you shared with us. It was the highlight of my day.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      I have heard of schema therapy but don’t know much about it. Thank you for the explanation, Leafy. I’m so happy to hear this post was a highlight!

    2. annette Avatar

      Our childhood can often feel like an entangled spiderweb- sticky & all. Our society doesn’t teach self love (seen only as narcissism), promoting love of other, and kicks us to the curb for being/seeing different. Learning to be “ok” with any of this is slowly unwinding, untwisting & unsticking the spiderweb. (I’m really starting to like this analogy!) This process seems to be far more than reparenting, which helps in a big way to start the process. I have had moments of my younger self screaming out, hugging younger self, & bizarrely watching that younger self calm & melt away. But feeling whole & not hole is such a maze of a process. Finding someone else to share what’s left of the process & move on…well…

      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Thank you, annette. Reparenting is one simple way to describe the inner child process and, yes, there is even more!

  12. clignett Avatar

    Dear itssue42,
    Please remember you are NOT alone!! We are with you! And helping in every way we can!
    Do not give up, your light will shine bright again, I know it will! Maybe you’ll have to endure a couple of more “bumps” in the road, but you’ll get there! And you’ve got this!
    Sending hugs, lots of hugs, and Indie sending lots of wiggly tails and happy snouts (ok, some are because he wants cookies (in Dutch “koeken”), but mostly just because you are you!

  13. clignett Avatar

    Oh, dear, dear, dear Paula, this blog (and it’s only part one, I look forward to the next part!!) makes me so happy! A warm and fuzzy feeling inside, so much love (“my cup runneth over”)!

    To your question – yes, I did see that coming 😁. From miles away! But then again, that’s me. Seeing, knowing and hearing what others can’t.. sometimes it’s a good thing, sometimes not so much. But overall I guess I would miss it if it wasn’t there. It’s a sort of guide, in a strange way.

    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. Truly inspiring, and I’m so happy and grateful for you that you’ve come such a long way and have the courage and love for all of us to share. It’s a lifetime piece of work, every day again. Some days are better than others, but even that is a good thing (I speak for myself on this, my darker days help me to process and work harder to find the light again).

    “And, then, in typical rainforest-minded form, you will not stop there. You may go from there to a tiny transformation so that your self-love spills out to family, friends, neighbors, adversaries, people you haven’t met, animals, and plants. You are rainforest-minded after all. And this is the deeper purpose of self-love, in case you wondered.) The more you understand and grieve for the lost, wounded child within, the more love (in various and sundry forms) will find you.”
    This is so uncanny true! I’ve found so much love in people who I didn’t expect would really care that much. Strangers who ask me intricate questions, out of the blue. An example: I met a man carrying a lot of heavy bags, during Indie’s last round for the night. After just a few pleasantries he asked me “I feel that you value words, and by that I mean the actual words. Th words you choose are not random, is that true?” I was gobsmacked.. a complete stranger, asking a question and also actually waiting for my answer.. and listening to it! So I told him he was spot on with his “observation or feeling” in that. Words have a certain value, even they are supposed to be synonymous, there is still a difference in their meaning and urgency in a sentence. You can imagine that I walked home with a lighter step after that.
    And animals, birds responding to me, whistling a certain song, to which I respond in the same way. Another song, daring me to follow, and again the same song gets back to them. Beautiful nature, grounding and humbling. And each time coming closer, keeping an eye on me when I sit on my balcony. Especially when I’m feeling extremely stressed or low. Dogs coming to hug me, kiss me (I’m not yucky about that, I love dog kisses! Ok, except my eyes and mouth, and chin but this last one is only because it tickles and I start giggling (which can be a really strange sound 🙈🙈) and even hedgehogs come out just to say hi! Indie is not interested, two times a prickly nose and he now just leaves then be. Walks around then, leaving them enough space to not feel threatened. So proud of him!! 🥰🥰
    And then my jungle in n my house. They are thriving! And I keep talking to them, every day. Some are as old as 40+ years, nurtured them from baby on. They are taller than me! (Now I’m kinda tiny (1,67cm), so maybe not a really good comparison, but still. Just have 2 cacti that need extra love and attention, and another place in my house (which is kinda hard right now, with my house being for sale and needing to keep all things, plants, personal stuff hidden – really stressful time!)
    And it helps healing the inner little girl inside me. She feels seen, has come out of the basement where she was hiding and I keep telling her that I see her. I see HER. I SEE her. And I’m listening and loving her quirks and mind going from one topic to the next. She’s with me again. I can still see the road ahead, we’re not there yet. When I’m stressed out, she flees back, and Indie just gives me a hug and a kiss and walks away from me. They’re both a mirror for me now. Confrontational? Yes! Hell yes!!! But it reminds me that it’s me who’s doing that. So I need to breath, and really catch my breath. Meditate, ask the universe for guidance, and lower my heartbeat and blood pressure 🙄😬🙈

    I’ve came across l a text, don’t remember where I got it from, probably a newsletter about HSP, but it stuck with me:
    “It took years, but I finally reached a braking point: I decided to stop feeling inferior for my sensitivity due to others INsensitivity”.

    It strengthens me, and I can see the difference now in my responses to other people who are in fact INsensitive. To me, to my feelings, to my whole being. And it helps! No annoyed faces (maybe they are annoyed, but don’t show it, so that’s good!!), and it gives me more mind-space to keep to myself. And I’m more relaxed and laidback.
    Maybe others can benefit from this “mantra” as well?

    And last, but certainly NOT least, thank you for quoting me! (You are free to delete this if you want to keep it anonymous!!) Just so you know, it means the world to me! 💓
    (What I forgot to mention in that quote, was that the trauma began on a very early age, in fact with my birth.. not being wanted (by my mother – as she says that’s because I share the same birthday with her sister whom she hates and after all these years (probably 47 years now) still hasn’t any contact with this sister). But I can feel it in my bones that that is not the only reason. Jealousy is the only thing I can make of it right now.
    So my childhood wasn’t a happy go lucky kind of thing, I had to always watch out if I said something, and the what (words again) and the tone, if I broke something (clothes through playing for example), if I looked “funny” at her. So at a very young age I’ve learnt to navigate the situation, be careful, be the mediator when disagreements came up, etc..)

    On a very, very positive note: I’m really looking forward to your next book! Can’t wait to order it and continue the journey!

    Again, thank you so much!! You are in fact a lifeline! Each and every time again!! 💝😘 Sending so much love!! ❤️❤️❤️

    (To everyone: please help me to kindly and humbly ask the universe to guide me through the process of selling my house.. I’m a bit stressed out and high(er) strung because of it.. All positive vibes are so very welcome!! 🥰🥰😘

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Positive vibes for your house sale, clignett! Here in N. America, houses are selling fast. Maybe it’s not the same in NL? Your comments are always appreciated. Hugs to you and Indie!

      1. clignett Avatar

        Unfortunately the house selling market is changing here, the interest on the mortgages are much higher, so the monthly costs of the mortgage are higher as well. This means that the fast selling of houses is getting a lot slower, although we still have a shortage of houses.
        Trying to keep positive, my (im)patience is not helping me at all.. I really don’t like not being in control, so that makes it even harder..

        Thank you so much for all the positive vibes!! 🥰🥰😘😘

  14. itssue42 Avatar

    Yes, it is always very helpful to hear your own adventures and efforts and struggles and successes. Helps us realize that we are perfectly fine just the way we are in all our nuances, and that somehow, some day, there may actually be love for us out there. Having gone thru the self-hate and what’s wrong with me, on to the (mostly…partly) self-acceptance, on to the now a few friends who understand and love parts of me and actually care about me…. I believe perhaps it can be accomplished. But it is a long lonely journey and lately I feel so alone. This planet, and other people, need us RFMs now more than ever.

    Personally going thru a real overwhelmed cycle lately, but perseverance and hope and meditation etc etc do yield results. Just requires that one never gives up.
    Thanks for always being there for us. It’s reassuring, every single day.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      So important to not give up, Sue. It can be hard not to feel overwhelmed and powerless. But we are not powerless! Always good to hear from you.

    2. renovatio06 Avatar

      Perfectly said, Sue.
      And Paula, thanks for having shared parts and milestones of your own journey for us here and for this new blog post about love and how and where (with whom) to find it!

      (got me a book on doing the self-parenting of the dissociated and abandoned inner children/child stages that had noone to look after them when they needed it and looking forward to hopefully reconciling and healing those still missing crucial aspects of my original self before then hopefully getting reoriented in the world and finding new purpose for the remaining chapters of my life’s script.

      Thank you!

  15.  Avatar

    Paula, you’re like clean fresh transparent water for me. Thank you very much.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Oh, thank you, anonymous!

  16. Kristen K Avatar
    Kristen K

    This post was really lovely. And, Yes it it helpful to hear about you! It is always inspiring. I loved this post and I am SO excited for the guided journal! Honestly sometimes I find myself reading so much but not getting to actual action/implementation of what I learn from reading. (Often because I start reading something new and exciting!) It will be thrilling to have a new format to experience your guidance to help me explore my inner world–can’t wait!

    1. Paula Prober Avatar
      Paula Prober

      Thank you, Kristen! You are inspiring me to get going on this project. 🙂

    2. Kristen K Avatar
      Kristen K

      Hi all! I stumbled upon a resource that I’m really enjoying. It’s a mindfulness/healthy minds app created by researchers at the University of Wisconsin. And it’s FREE! Thought I’d share in case it was of interest to others.


      1. Paula Prober Avatar
        Paula Prober

        Thank you, Kristen. It looks quite good!

      2. renovatio06 Avatar

        Thank you, Kristen! As I’m always looking for ways to improve my wellbeing and find well working ways to protect and nourish my autonomous nervous system, I’ve downloaded the app and will give it a “spin”, thanks so much!

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