Are You Hiding Your Intelligence and Your Multiple Abilities from Others and Maybe Even from Yourself?

You would think people would appreciate you for your capacity to do so many things so well. You would think humans would realize we desperately need our super smart, innovative, highly sensitive thinker-creators to protect, repair, and transform life on planet earth. You would think your kind-hearted creativity and your driven curiosity would be respected, honored, and nourished by humans who realized the future of the planet depended on it.

(photo by rainier ridao, Unsplash)

To tell you the truth, I am flummoxed by this. Flummoxed.

Oh, I understand how folks who are hurt, insecure, angry, scared, or traumatized, might not be able to get beyond their own fears, to see you, much less appreciate you. I do understand that. I do not like it. But I get why it happens. I see how it might convince you to hide your true nature, especially if these people also reject, bully, humiliate, or abuse you out of their fears or ignorance. Especially if these people happen to be your parents.

It is also possible you have been told numerous times to slow down, explain more thoroughly, describe the steps you took to get to that answer, because many people can not keep up with you. But steps might be impossible for your nonlinear creative mind. There are no steps. Just leaps. And so you blame yourself for your seemingly inadequate communication skills or your impatience or their jealousy. And you hide.

The hiding can start early. Even when you are a little tyke, you may find the other kids don’t appreciate your passions for insects or your knowledge of the constellations. They may bully you because of your enthusiasm for libraries and classical music or for your conversations with trees. You may have also experienced conflict at home. On the one hand, you may have been over-praised for your achievements, which felt like pressure to always perform perfectly. On the other hand, you may have been told not to get too full of yourself or not to make the other kids feel bad. And then, my apologies, there is “protecting, repairing, and transforming life on planet earth.” Um. Well. I know. Too much darned pressure. Sorry. I would have left that part out but, you know. I can’t. Don’t get mad at me. Just ignore it for now, if you must.

So, if you were told you were so lucky to be so smart, well, you might not feel so lucky.

And, yet.

Even with all of the above, I imagine you are still grateful for your rainforest mind. Am I right? You are grateful because you have the ability to create, imagine, know, and feel in powerfully deep and intricate ways. You can tune into your intuition and expand your notion of reality and feel nourished by a spiritual support network. Even though you may grapple with deep grief, anxiety, and despair, you also find sweetness, love, and even joy in simple things.

But you hide your light. Even from yourself.

What, then, can you do?

For one thing, keep reading my blog and books keep working to understand what it means to have a rainforest mind and remember that everyone you know and do not know benefits from your self-awareness, whether they are conscious or oblivious. Knowing this information does not make you arrogant or unjust. It makes you authentic, aligned, congruent, even if it is only to yourself.

Look for smart, sensitive, adept practitioners who will give you their full in-depth skillfulness for therapy, bodywork, energy work, acupuncture, nutrition, movement/dance, spiritual nourishment, arts, intellectual pursuits, and so on. Look for at least one non-practitioner (friend? partner? cousin? neighbor? puppy?) who loves your light and encourages you to glow even brighter.

And finally, find out what brings sweetness, meaning, and love into your life. It could be simple. It could be grand. For me, it may sound cheesy, but I swear when I am writing these blog posts (and working on my next book!), I am in my happy place. Sure, it also helps to have my acupuncturist on call and to have enough estrogen in my system. But I receive sweetness, meaning, and love, right here.

With you, I glow even brighter.


To my bloggEEs: I hope that by the time you see this, all of the kinks on this new version of my blog will be resolved. Thank you so much for your patience. And let me know if you run into other bugs.

Do you hide your intelligence and talents? Is it hard for you to admit, even to yourself, that you have particular advanced abilities and sensitivities? What helps you step into your true nature? Thank you, as always, for being here. Much love and appreciation.

Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

42 responses to “Are You Hiding Your Intelligence and Your Multiple Abilities from Others and Maybe Even from Yourself?”

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  1. renovatio06 Avatar

    More often than not now, I feel that the well has run dry and/or that this well can’t “float my boat” any longer (both, in equal parts). That scares me – frankly, it literally scares me sh_tless often. Coming to your blog has amounted to a much needed survival routine that reminds me of all that in me and about me which I’m at peace with (including my past or current actions and really, reminds me that there can be peace even for me and in the first place…). It is the lifeline that prevents me from really losing it or going off my rockers seeing that adversity dominates my day-to-day life at a scale and to a degree that overwhelms me more often that not (getting drowned in an ongoing bombardment of totally meaningless, but time consuming and time critical paperwork being one, but not the only reason for that and the latter being the number one reason that makes it near impossible to return to my happy place or to find said peace as I had before).

    As for the website: I don’t see any pronounced kinks any longer or none that can’t be worked around (but really didn’t have to do so), everything feels right back in place from a visitors/community members perspective). I enjoy the hue of green that this sites theme provides and the clear and intuitive navigation. While our RFMs can also sometimes feel chaotic depending on the frequency and depth of “resonance” we get to experience with others – as you also mention in this blog entry – , the site offers nice and readily apparent “handles” for “tree hopping” 😉 (I take it we’ll all get the analogy). Really nice job, inside and out. Thanks, always.

    (P.S. communication… dear lord, that’s humdinger. It doesn’t seem to ever get any easier, because … exactly. Leaps, not steps. I can’t even begin to know the steps when the solution to any given problem just stands out on its own in my perception. How can anyone not see that…? Flummoxed… at least. More like… what the …? Guess, I’m preaching to the proverbial choir here…)

    1. pprober Avatar

      I wonder if you might open up the well and dig even deeper, you will find the rushing river that is you, renovatio06. (and thank you for the website feedback)

  2. Ewab Avatar

    Most of the time I am more then okay the way I am, glad is a big word.
    But sometimes I wish I was “normal” having a “normal”job like checkout girl at a supermarket, or shoe sells person. And being fine with that. No big idea’s that nobody understands, no big responsibilities that nobody feels or understand. Not seeing that the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
    Watching my goverment having all these great smart idea’s that I am cant stop watching like a train wreck waiting to happen.

    Life should be a lot simpler without all this right?
    only then I talk to someone with that relatively normal life and their life is just as messed up as mine, but in a different way.
    I think I want to be a cat next time round.

    1. pprober Avatar

      A cat sounds good, Ewab! Thank you for being here.

    2. Pulp Fusion Avatar
      Pulp Fusion


      Read this recently, and thought you might find it interesting after reading your comment:

      “A lesson which many highly intelligent persons never learn as long as they live is that human beings in general are incorrigibly very different from themselves in thought, action, and desire. Many a reformer has died at the hands of a mob which he was trying to improve. The highly intelligent child must learn to suffer fools gladly – not sneeringly, not angrily, not desparingly, not weepingly – but gladly, if personal development is to successfully proceed in the world as it is. Failure to learn how to tolerate the foolishness of others less gifted leads to bitterness, disillusionment, and misanthropy, which are the ruin of potential leader.”

      P.s. Regardless of whether I’m highly intelligent/gifted, I’ve yet to learn this lesson.

      1. Ewabs Avatar

        very hard lesson to learn. part is also that sometimes I am sure I found a fellow rainforest, only to be disapointed later on.

  3. Elinevanantwerpen Avatar

    Visibility is a major theme over here, as is probably the case in many rainforest lives. Like clignett said so beautifully: we dim ourselves. To the point of almost sneaking through the hallway at jobs, avoiding as many colleagues as possible because of those non-conversations like “nice weather, did you get a haircut, my car was damaged, daycare is so expensive”

    But, like many of you I’ve started growing into being myself because I’ve finally made it through the worst years. I’ve read about that in women’s magazines, near 40 we’re able to give up TRYING SO HARD. I don’t want to be a chameleon anymore. There I am, at the bus stop, orthopedic shoes, backpack, jeans, headphones, enjoying 50 shades of music, enjoying the rain, breathing as deep as I can.

    One thing about (in)visibility has always struck me: when in a group, the guide/speaker/teacher loves to look at me because I’m the one listening. No matter my age or appearance.

    1. pprober Avatar

      Ah, yes, Eline! I will join you at the bus stop! 🙂

  4. M. J. Cuthbertson Avatar
    M. J. Cuthbertson

    Is it truly hiding? Maybe it’s just a kindness to protect nereuotypicals from the self knowledge of their deep limitations concerning their intellectual potential and creativity. OR – what my dog taught me. When I’d discuss complex topics with her she’d gaze distantly and seem confused. She much preferred a scratch behind the ears and a biscuit. I’ve found this to be true for most neurotypicals as well.

    Is it hiding or time management? If I express a thought or share a skill and subsequently have to explain them I lose enormous amounts of time I’ll never get back. Meanwhile, if I remain quiet I can accomplish all kinds of work. So, I’m not hiding the thought or skill, but I’m optimizing time utilization.

    Is it hiding or talk show preparation? Please, stick with me for just a moment as I explain. If you consider the best late night talk show guests—they all have a talk show persona. They never come with their true selves, but they are armed with really good stories, improvisational skills, and a willingness to play with the host. It can’t really be hiding when it’s simply the kind of talk show preparation in which you’re developing a delightful refined version of self. Plus, when your true self projects come to fruition and you find yourself booked on a talk show you’ll be ready to go with no need for rehearsals.

    For me, it distills down very simply, is external validation sufficient reward to warrant the cost of sharing? I’m going to have the thoughts, expand the skills, and do the work whether anyone else knows about it or not. Meanwhile, I’m getting a lot better use of my time, I always have a great story to share, and everybody’s always happy when I give them a biscuit. (… A little irony, a little truth. As with all art the viewer/reader is welcome to determine which is what themselves.)

    1. pprober Avatar

      Hm…M.J. Good stuff to ponder. Thank you!

    2. Gerson CA Avatar
      Gerson CA

      This is a very interesting perspective. Perhaps, it’s all about controlling that desire for validation or encouragement from others. Time is gold so having ways to save it for oneself is never bad. Thanks for sharing your thoughts M.J.

      1. pprober Avatar

        Good to see you here, Gerson!

  5. Me Avatar

    oh yes!!! that is me
    „don’t be such a smart arse, why do you think you know better, you are so arrogant, be normal, be like everyone else, don’t be so complicated, why do you have to be different,
    stopp it now!“ …. how could I stop being who I am?

    My parents wanted me to have less problems by squeezing me, breaking me up to fit into the standard size box frame, never realising, not even now, that that really made my life hell.
    I am not standard issue, I don’t fit in boxes, I am different and weird and wonderful and enough and by now I am more than happy with it! 😊

    Only recently did I meet people who asked me where I was in the past…why I did not appear earlier… They are out there, those that appreciate me and my giftedness, know its value. It is nice to finally see, as for a very long time I thought that NOBODY likes me, and meet them.

    1. pprober Avatar

      I’m so glad you found some folks who appreciate the beauty of who you are, Me! Thank you for sharing.

  6. pprober Avatar

    Just a brief update for all of you dear commenters about tech issues. I am missing some comments and not as on top of likes as I was. The like button does work but it is temperamental. You have to tap it just right. And I can’t tell clearly yet which ones I have liked and which I have not. Thus I may not be “liking” comments as much, so don’t take it personally, please!! OK? I think this change eliminated likes on older posts and on comments and we can’t get them back. It’s really not that important but we get a little dependent on being liked, right?? 🙂 Know that your thoughts and experiences are still welcome, even if you do not get the responses you are used to. Did the subgroup on Reddit ever get going?

  7. itssue42 Avatar

    Oh Paula, I read this post and it’s my whole life described; all the pain and trauma and highs and lows and fierceness of our inner selves coping, always coping, as best we can. Ragged from the decades of fight, but not about to quit. Wouldn’t give up who I am no matter what. Hoping by the time I turn 100 that I’ll be a truly useful human for this planet and all its breathtaking creatures.
    Your blog helps keep my soul together.
    Sending much love and warm thoughts to you 🙂

    1. pprober Avatar

      Happy to keep your soul together, Sue.

  8. annette Avatar

    (Wow, took me a while to find this) “Over praise” really caught my attention! I’ve learned that when that happens, I usually receive a bull’s eye on my back from others listening or the speaker. There is usually fall out in some way. Sad, but happens too often.

    1. pprober Avatar

      Yes, annette. I think too much praise is something many people don’t realize can have negative effects. I tell parents to avoid praise and go for encouragement. It’s a tricky topic.

    2. Kimberly Avatar

      That’s a good one, over-praise. I was trying to figure that out, though it was coming up for me as “making others feel bad”. For example, as a child in school, I could’ve raised my hand and answered every single question, but I saw through observation that I should give others a chance, don’t show off, don’t make others feel bad that they don’t know everything, etc. And over-praise fits in there. If the teacher keeps telling me, “Good job! … that’s right, Kimberly! … Yes, very good!…” the other kids, well… I could feel their feelings aimed at me. Some were resentful, some felt stupid. So I learned to keep my hand down and let others answer as much as possible, and only raise my hand when no one else does. Then it’s safe. But what did that train me to do? At 50, I still let others talk before I do, I let others have their way or take credit so they can feel special, I suffer boring conversations so others can show what they know…. I let everyone else rule the world around me while I only step in if I really need to. That’s not shining my light.

      BUT…. I am starting my own business soon, and I will be in charge of every aspect of it. Scary, but I will HAVE to show my light, because it’s all up to me!

      1. pprober Avatar

        A great example, Kimberly. Thank you. Congratulations on your business. Shine that light of yours!!!

  9. Pulp Fusion Avatar
    Pulp Fusion

    You’re so right, Paula! Despite the challenges that feel insurmountable at times, there’s a deeper enduring sense of gratefulness for the sensitivities that causes them: I remember how it feels when the energies of my sensitivities are given the necessary time and space to settle, align, and flow as one whole -nothing else will matter then.

    I dedicate this poem to all the beautiful rainforest minds:

    Rain on a Sunday

    How a leaf quivers
    quenched by a drop of rain
    Fluorescent green

    Have you Seen?

    As the notes unlock
    the sound of silence – within

    That stillness, the song
    of the spirit Wind



    1. pprober Avatar

      Oh, beautiful. Thank you Pulp Fusion.

    2. Sheep’s Wool Avatar
      Sheep’s Wool

      Green, moisture, depth, coolness, life – this is something I feel affinity with, and connection to, intuitively on those blessed occasions I stumble across it in nature. (Often trees are involved or old scrub). It amazed me to feel that intuitive resonance – sure but wordless – the first time I noticed it. It’s lovely and you’ve captured it, Pulp Fusion, in your poem. Thank you.

      1. Pulp Fusion Avatar
        Pulp Fusion

        It makes me happy that you have seen and heard; that we have shared this experience of life.

  10. Shannon A Avatar
    Shannon A

    Thank you very much for this post. A breath of fresh air to have our temperament acknowledged and celebrated. Grateful for you and your work Paula. 😌 (and now cannot wait for your next book ☺️)

    1. pprober Avatar

      I was wondering how many would notice that I am writing a new book. 🙂 More to come on that. It will be different from the first two. A guided journal/workbook sort of thing.

  11. Meredith Avatar

    Thank you for this, Paula! I love the new format and your new profile pic.
    I have experienced a lot of jealousy. When I was in a treatment center for addiction and trauma, I decided I would finally be myself and speak the way I think instead of dumbing myself down. My therapist there actually accused me of looking for the biggest words I could find! You would think a therapist would be more mature than that. I also have had bosses who seemed go be threatened by my abilities. This sort of thing makes me think twice before showing who I really am. I think I need to be braver and just stop hiding. It’s scary though!

    1. pprober Avatar

      It is scary, Meredith, for many. I think the more you have experienced rejection and criticism, the harder it is.

    2. itssue42 Avatar

      It IS scary! And truth is that a great many times you will be scolded/bullied/hated/harassed/encouraged to leave/ etc etc for just being the real genuine YOU in all your gloriousness. It’s taken me decades to get to the point of successfully thinking “if you don’t get/like/appreciate/etc me and instead you’re jealous/hateful/vindictive/etc, then that’s your problem not mine”. When I manage to truly be ME, in all my disarrayed self, then I AM HAPPY. But boy does it take courage and effort and a certain mindset to just start realizing that if other people have a problem with you, then that’s their problem. Over time, you’ll find plenty of quirky/kind/accepting/comfortable with themselves/etc people who will appreciate you just the way you are. 🙂
      Phew but what a journey 😀

      1. pprober Avatar

        Good to hear you have found plenty of folks who appreciate you, Sue! Glad you hung in there.

  12. RL Avatar

    If you would only apply yourself… If you would just do your work… If you would do what we tell you to, how we tell you to do it.. You have so much potential… You could do such great things… You are just too smart for your own good… Why on EARTH are you interested in that, no one else is.. just be normal for once… If you’d just focus on something normal maybe you’d get somewhere…

    I am not enough for them, but when I begin to let out the Light, I am too much, and so I carry around only a flicker that can be seen, just enough to not burn, but what I am made of is not incinerable, it is temperable, and I’ve never made the fire hot enough for long enough in the right place with the right pressures to smith the sword – I could have, so many say I should have, but there is a fear of failure, a fear of having no supports, even when the supports are the wrong kinds sometimes, they are what I have known, what I have tried to help build and add my own strengths to, and the empathy in me and the helper in me says I am better used as a tool there, as a pry bar, a tack hammer, and eventually, because I have not used my metal correctly, I fear the changes that come to such metal, to be buried deep in the ground unresolved or to finally transform.. both.. are frightening.

    The best question is.. even if I become a sword, who will wield me.. myself, or someone else.. if I cannot have the strength to be forged will I have the strength to do good with the results… too much. Too much and not enough, born in the wrong time, born in the right time… perhaps the reason I am this way is to wait for that right time, perhaps that right time is a thousand small applications of steering Time from where I am, in moments that seem unexpected but are part of some larger plan, and this illusion of the ‘self on the crux’ is what keeps me finding the right creases I am meant to be in temporarily, jack of all trades

    1. pprober Avatar

      Beautiful metaphor, RL, thank you. Lots to think about. Too much, not enough, is a familiar refrain.

    2. Sheep’s Wool Avatar
      Sheep’s Wool

      RL, ❤️❤️❤️

  13. Clignett Avatar

    Yes, I dim my light, from childhood on. Better to be in “hiding “, than to get all the comments on why you can’t do this or that, why vent you be more like your sister, why why why..

    There is one time that I remember that I started to dim my light even further. My sister was celebrating her birthday, family and friends all together. I had a great time!
    The next year, she told me she was splitting up the celebration of her birthday, so one day for friend, and one day for family. This was around her 19th birthday, so at first that was fine with me. But then she started to send out the invitations, and I was only (!!) invited with family, which meant parents. Ehm… I really do want to see my friends as well! They were not her “exclusive” friends, but also my friends! She would not budge.
    So, for three years in a row, I’d be stuck between the parents. Even though they too were wondering about it..
    After those three years, I asked her agsjn. Her answer: when you come in the room, everybody lights up in happiness to see you. You light up the room, but it’s MY birthday!
    After that I started dimming even more. Friends asked, some I gave the true answer, some I gave a made-up one. And I stopped going to her birthdays. Made a differ appointment for us to celebrate, with a cup of tea (or whatever) and a cake, which I brought myself.
    The friends who really knew me, were disappointed, but understood why I resolved it that way.

    I hid my light, my intelligence, my sensitivities, everything. More and more. At school everything went fine, only algebra was a sore point, even though I liked it, but the teachers just couldn’t help me understand the question “why? How is that formula made? What’s behind it?” If I can understand where it’s coming from, I can understand and use it. But they didn’t know themselves.. “just accept that the formula is right, and then use it!” Ehm, I can’t.. don’t understand what they mean by the question. In my mind I had as many of 5 or more answers, depending on what they asked with that formula.. obviously I always chose the wrong one 🙇‍♀️

    But now I’m older, wiser, been to many therapies, and now it all starts to come back. Slowly, but surely! My light is definitely “on” now, and my sensitivities are all coming back. Whether I like it or not 🤣. And I don’t hide them anymore. (If the light is too bright for my eyes, even in wintertime or rainy days, I’ll put my “sunnyglasse” on (a term Indie understands 😅). If someone is being rude, I tell them that they are being rude.
    Just this afternoon, walking with Indie, another woman walks toward us, and as always I say to Indie “look! A new friend!”. The woman heard me, pulled her dog close and with her and went out of our way. Now I’m new here, so I don’t know all the dogs here yet, and I asked her, while staying put with Indie, if the dogs wouldn’t get along with each other. I got a growl from her saying “why else do you think I’m taking another route?!” I replied “no worries! But a bit friendlier would be nice! How am I supposed to know that?” And to Indie “he will be your friend, don’t worry!”
    Unfortunately for her, we were walking the same direction, so we followed her a bit. Indie of course trying to get closer, and I could feel her anger glowing out of her. So I turned into a sidestreet, and just loud enough so she could hear me “come on, let’s go this way. I’m not letting my good mood be changed by this rude and impolite person! Let her just stew in her anger! Sorry for the doggie, Indue, but it’ll be ok! Let’s walk our own route, maybe you’ll meet some other friends!”
    The woman probably returned home, you can only walk in a circle there, and we haven’t seen her again..
    The point of this long story is that I also don’t keep my sensitivities silent anymore. You rude to me, you’ll get it back! And I won’t forget. So you’ll get it every time again, until you either apologize or start acting normal.

    Another advanced ability is that I can think in 3D. Which for me is normal, but for some it’s impossible to see what I see. With moving into my new place, I just know what I want where, and what I need to do to get it there. How a problem can be fixed. What do you need for that. It’s getting there slowly 🙄🙈 (patience is not one of my virtues)..

    Anyway, being and becoming my true self are the ways to step in my true self again. Getting close to nature always helps. Seeing Indie grow out of his fears and being a happy dog again makes me so happy (even though sometimes when we get home he is green… lots of ducks and geese around.. eating, but also rolling, rolling, rolling.. 🤢😷🙈) But I let him for some time, because you can see how happy it makes him! And me as well then. Cleaning we’ll do at home, spraying him with his doggy perfume “Stink Bomb” 🤣🤣🐶

    1. pprober Avatar

      For many, I think being in nature is a safe place to feel supported and loved, clignett. And, of course, with Indie.

  14. Carol Avatar

    Yes, I have hidden my talents most of my life. I’ve stopped that now. I want to be MYSELF! I want to help Earth. I have gifts to share. Others need to see and feel the world through OUR eyes and our nervous system 🌿✨ (I so greatly appreciate your blog!! You validate us and our unusual ways of being, our genius and sensitivity. Thank you 💖💖)

    1. pprober Avatar

      You are so welcome, Carol. Yes, please, you be YOU.

      1. Mary Ennis Avatar
        Mary Ennis

        Bafflegab is a wonderful word! I will tell it to my friends, for when they tease me about using “dollar” words. I have always been a voracious reader since a young child. I have been chided by some for trying to impress others with my word choices, but that is not the reason.Really it is as Elle described, used because it is the correct one.
        Paula I’ve been reading you for some time.I am excited for your new book! Spending time in nature is my happy place and am considering learning the art of “forest bathing” .Thank you for supporting us !

        1. pprober Avatar

          Good to hear from you, Mary. Keep loving those words!

  15. Elle Avatar

    I am a proud nerd. I read a lot. Occasionally I’ll use a weird-to-everyone-else word. The other day I used the word “guffawed” in my retelling of an event not even thinking about it being unusual at all because, well, he actually did guffaw!

    My two loved ones looked at each other and murmured in a complainy-pants way and loud enough for me to hear: “Have you ever heard of that word?” “What does that it mean?”

    Most of the time my husband will say “You’re bafflegabbing again” and ask me to define a word I just used. Guess who introduced him to the word “bafflegab.”

    It’s okay. I just laugh and don’t feel weird or victimized. As I said, I read a lot. I collect words like others collect Precious Moments figurines.

    1. pprober Avatar

      I LOVE that word! Bafflegab. Wow! Oh my goodness. I may need to quote you. 🙂 Is that OK? You may see this on my next post!