It depends.

You might be able to tell your mother. You can tell me.
But, in many cases, if you use the G word to describe yourself, it does not go well. You may be accused of arrogance, snobbery, insensitivity, or psychosis. You may be bullied by fellow students or dismissed by teachers. You may be ejected from your progressive leftist activist organization and declared very much UNwoke. You may have to stop listening to NPR.
Oh. OK. You can listen to NPR.
And yet, it is complicated because there is no one clear definition of giftedness. Right? What does it even mean?
But you and I know what it means. It is so obvious, really. But it is not simple. It is not one thing. There are many levels, layers, degrees, and types. It is not always referring to intelligence. It can be about talent such as music and art. It can be about athletics.
Interestingly, when the G word is applied to talent or athletics, there is not the same discomfort. No one will accuse you of arrogance or psychosis if you are a gifted artist or an Olympic athlete. Somehow it is quite acceptable to be more talented or more physically adept than someone else. But more intelligent? Not so much. When it comes to intelligence, it appears, we must all be the same. And this is not just a North American phenomenon. I have heard from many of you around the world who are in cultures that also confuse equality (good!) with sameness. (not so good)
So, then, what do you tell people if you are gifted?
Well. First, maybe most important, before talking about it to others, acknowledge for yourself that you are intellectually more advanced, more complex, than the average human. That you think more, feel more, and know more. You have high levels of sensitivity and empathy. This does not mean you are extremely capable of all things, all the time. But, it is likely you love learning and are curious about most things and are quite capable, often, if you are interested.
If you are in any type of relationship, then, and are wanting to share who you are, it will likely be more effective and actually more descriptive if you talk about specific traits. They won’t know what you mean, really, if you say you are gifted. Instead, you say, for example, you are an avid reader, obsessively curious, a deep thinker, appreciator of beauty, story teller, mathematician, HSP, analyzer, creator, engineer, nerd, intuitive, you collect words, wonderer, wanderer, seeker…You get the idea. You are not hiding the fact you are gifted. You are explaining what it is more explicitly. Right? As you get to know the person, you can go into more depth, say, about the 5 languages you speak, your achievements, the number of times you dropped out of college, your dreams and fears, your career paths, your enthusiasm for narwhals.
And, of course, you can always say you have a rainforest mind! Then talk about how you are so lush, resourceful, fertile, intense, tangled, and misunderstood. How you have so much to give. You can use the quiz, if you’d like, for some comic relief.
So, you see, there is a way to tell someone you are gifted. And, if you need practice, you can start with me. And, maybe, your mother.
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To my bloggEEs: Has it been hard to know what to say to people about being gifted? What has worked for you? Thank you for being here, as always, and for your sweet support and love. Much love back to you.
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