Find a Friend Who Loves Your Odd and Magical Ways and Be Your Odd and Magical Self

We all need a friend like Anne (her real name!) who wrote this to me in an email one day when I was in a particularly lonely, fearful, self-doubting, estrogen-deprived, angsty, melancholy mood: “The odd and magical combination of things that you love is exactly what they need here.”

Find yourself some Anne.

If I can do it, so can you. All it takes is one Anne. You don’t need a gaggle of Annes. One will do.

I found Anne in 1992. Right after I finished grad school. She had recently moved to Oregon and we ended up working for the same mental health agency and sharing office space in an old house downtown. Slowly, we built the deep friendship we have today. I had to woo her for a long time because she was busy raising a family and building her therapy practice. She was an introvert. (Me, too.) We were both kind of shy, choosy, and rather suspicious of human beings. But I have a good instinct for finding souls of the rainforest-minded variety (as you know) and I knew she would be worth the effort and patience it would take to bring her into my web lair heart.

I’m telling you this in case you are struggling to find a friend. In case you are longing for someone who sees you and knows what you need to hear. A friend who gets that you are odd and magical and who loves you for it. A friend who is odd and magical, too. 

Anne is not perfect, by the way. (Neither am I, in case you were wondering) Don’t look for perfect. Odd and magical will do. And, as I’ve told you many times, you can find your Anne as you do your inner work, as you heal from any early trauma, as you open to self-compassion, as you engage in activities you enjoy.

And that brings me to the next part. The part about how doing the odd and magical things that you love is what they need here on planet earth. Whoa, right? How about that? Can you let yourself be the oddball? Can you embrace your magical, mystical proclivities? Because maybe, just maybe, that is what is needed here on Planet Earth! Can you imagine that who you are is exactly who you are supposed to be? That everyone benefits if you are you?

I know. It’s kind of mind boggling.

And yet, there it is.

So, my magnificent rainforesters, find your Anne and embrace your particularly quirkified ways . Because —“The odd and magical combination of things that you love is exactly what they need here.”


To my bloggEEs: What do you think? Have you found a friend who gets you? Tell us how you found your friend! What are the odd and magical things you love?Thank you, as always, for being here. Hugs and kisses to you! And, don’t forget. My next book is coming. There have been delays but I promise it will arrive before tooooo long. I will announce it here and on Instagram and Facebook. Maybe even TikTok!

Author: Paula Prober

I’m a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice based in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in international consulting with gifted adults and parents of gifted children. I’ve been a teacher and an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a frequent guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, Advanced Development Journal and online for psychotherapy dot net, Rebelle Society, Thrive, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, is a collection of case studies of gifted clients along with many strategies and resources for gifted adults and teens. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists is a collection of my most popular blog posts along with writing exercises for self-exploration and insight.

9 responses to “Find a Friend Who Loves Your Odd and Magical Ways and Be Your Odd and Magical Self”

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  1. anonymous Avatar

    I am feeling very bitter about this. I would love to have a friend like an Anne, but somehow I have found myself paired with a person who thinks she is the weird and wonderful one and I am the audience. We live near each other and have some similar interests, but the friendship just doesn’t feel reciprocal. Most of the time, I long for someone who really listens to ME – asks questions about what I am working on and pays attention to MY answers, not to just bring up something similar that SHE has done, but really interested in ME and MY work. And then, I end up feeling selfish and unappreciative. My husband isn’t interested in most of the stuff I do, either. He talks to people all day and when he gets home, he just wants peace and quiet. Even our interests have diverged over the years. In some ways, I feel my only value is to be a vending machine, giving people back what they want.

    1. pprober Avatar

      Sending you hugs! (just edited this so it’s anonymous)

    2. Marina Avatar

      Hi anonymous, a big hug and a loving heart goes to you! This ‘friend’ is not the right person for you, as she makes you feel bitter, which is really sad. I recognise this so well, this happens to me all the time as well. In such cases, what I do is talk about myself, because I’m bored with the other one being so egocentric! So I do the same, for fun, it becomes a game I play with myself. Whenever the other one says “I do this…blablabla…”, I do the same, and then I say I’m very busy and have to leave. I don’t waste my time anymore on people who constantly act as you describe, it is not a healthy friendship for me, and I know that the person will never, ever listen to me. Perhaps you have other ways of getting to know like-minded people in your region? Associations for the gifted, or groups around a specific hobby, or something that you might have in common with other people, even those who are not RF minds?

  2. Jen Avatar

    Love this and I’m absolutely finding this in my own life (finally 😅). So glad you and Anne have each other.

  3. Marina Avatar

    Your words went straight to my heart, and yet I despair in finding a friend like Anne. I believe I will never find such a (female) friend, after many years of searching. And thank you for saying that we are needed ‘out there’, but most of the time I doubt that, because human nature shuns all that is different, or at least, that is my experience. But I am very lucky to have a wonderful husband who (today) understands my ‘odd and magical self’. He is himself a highly sensitive person and sometimes has a RF mind, and we are soooo lucky to still love each other, after living together for 35 (tumultuous, difficult, extraordinary, exciting) years. So I think there is hope for all of us RF minds, even though it might be difficult to be the ones we truly are meant to be!

    1. pprober Avatar

      It sounds important to feel that appreciation for your husband, Marina. Glad you have him!

  4. Georgia Patrick Avatar
    Georgia Patrick

    I hope you go further with this to address to what extent the rainforest mind is the same or more sensitive, more impacted when that odd and magical person dies after a 40-year run of rainforest alignment and an utterly magical life because of the union with that friend. Bittersweet by Susan Cain touches on what might be the next wave of feelings and thoughts. I’d love to learn what you experienced or observed in rainforest mind souls who would probably identify within the same generation as you.

    1. pprober Avatar

      Georgia. Can you say more about what you are looking for? Are you asking how an RFM deals with loss? Are you wondering about people my age? Tell us more! Surely the death of someone where there has been that kind of connection would have a huge impact, perhaps made more difficult because it can be so hard to find “rainforest alignment and an utterly magical life because of the union…”

  5. Me Avatar

    Thank you for your words of encouragement, that we are all needed as we are, Paula!

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