You may have been told you are too much. Too smart. Too sensitive. Too creative. Too curious. Too dramatic. Too verbal. Too intense. Too intuitive. Too innovative. Too noisy. Too quiet. Too weird. Too imaginative. Too odd.
What I am here to tell you is that you are not too much but you ARE a lot. Does that make sense? No one would say a rainforest is too much. But there is certainly a lot going on. So much life! So much diversity! So many species of ants! It is full, rich, lush, fertile, prolific, abundant, generous, bountiful, effervescent, resourceful, stimulating, powerful, visionary! (So many exclamation points!)
And that would be you, too.
Granted, not everyone can handle all that you are. I had a client just this week worry he was sharing too much and that he would overwhelm me. That I might not be able to follow him or keep up. I told him that’s why I take notes. Lots of notes. And that I love his fast talking depth, sensitivity, and complexity. I am also nonlinear and a bit rainforest-y myself, so I can follow his random paths and creative associations. Of course, if he expounds a lot about Nietzsche or Foucault, I may get lost. But I am fascinated and appreciative of his brilliant personhood, always.
That’s the tricky part. Even people who love that you are bountiful, may not always be able to keep up or understand what you are describing. And then, there are those folks who are threatened or jealous. The chainsaws to your rainforest. And maybe there are times when you overwhelm yourself. When you wish your brain would slow down so you could just go to sleep. When you wish you could not think of all the ways catastrophes might descend upon everyone you ever loved. When you wish your high standards were just a little lower so you could finish the darned project already.
So what can you do?
You may know what I’m going to say. First, recognize the beauty of your generous, abundant, resourceful self. This may take a little time, particularly if you were bullied for years or if you grew up with chainsaw parents. Therapy and journal writing may be required. Second, custom design a daily practice that works for you, calms your nervous system, and nourishes your kind heart. It may include art making, nature walks, singing in the shower, yoga, or herbal tea. And last, find yourself some friends who are also rainforest-mind-y. Even just one. Or friends who appreciate your lushness even if they don’t live in the jungle. But RFMs do exist! They buy my books. They follow me on Instagram. They dance the Argentine tango. They follow Susan Cain. Don’t give up on finding one or a few.
And, most important, don’t give up on yourself. Because, like the rainforest, your generous, lush, powerful, creative soul is needed here on planet earth. Whether you finish the darned project, or not.
To my bloggEEs: Let us know how you are navigating your “too muchness.” Your comments add so much. And, thank you, as always for your love! Much love back to you. My next book ought to be released in July! Finally. Watch for an announcement here and on social media.