I’m Paula Prober–a licensed psychotherapist and consultant in private practice in Eugene, Oregon, USA. I specialize in counseling gifted adults and youth (in the state of Oregon) and I consult with parents of gifted children and with gifted adults internationally.

Before becoming a therapist in 1992, I was a teacher in the public schools and I worked with gifted children in grades 1-8. I’ve been an adjunct instructor with University of Oregon and a guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University, and a presenter at multiple conferences, podcasts, and webinars. I’ve written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy NetworkerAdvanced Development Journal, and online with psychotherapy.net, ThriveGlobal, Rebelle Society, Introvert Dear, and Highly Sensitive Refuge. My book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, was released in June 2016 by GHF Press. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists was released in June 2019.

I see counseling as a journey that supports an individual’s healing, growth and self-actualization. My philosophy is based in attachment and psychodynamic theories that hold that painful experiences in childhood greatly affect self-image, confidence, and the ability to have healthy relationships. I use a variety of counseling methods that include talk, internal family systems, journaling, guided imagery, body-centered approaches, and mindfulness. Clients can then reconnect with their creativity, self-confidence, and spirituality so that they may live fulfilling lives of meaning and purpose.

In my consultations, I help parents understand their gifted children and I provide resources and strategies for helping these kids navigate challenges such as schooling, intense emotions, perfectionism, underachieving, and more. When consulting with gifted adults, we look at identifying and appreciating the gifted traits and at ways to navigate the sensitivities, intensities, career paths, relationships, and the challenges and benefits of rainforest-mindedness.

I provide counseling for adults in the state of Oregon. I consult with clients anywhere in the world.

(This is me dancing my favorite Argentine tango.)

Because the label “gifted” is often controversial and confusing, I developed the analogy of the rainforest mind. Many very smart folks don’t identify themselves as gifted. If the analogy speaks to you, I hope that my blog posts will help you better understand the complexities of your creative, sensitive, passionate, and smart self. And that my ideas will help you live like the thriving rainforest– in balance, peace, grace, and beauty, and in support of all beings on the planet.

Find me also at twitter.com/paulaprober, and facebook.com/paula.prober.  You can also listen to me talk about rainforest minds on this podcast. And here’s a short interview on YouTube.  And another podcast! And an hour long interview about parenting and educating gifted children. And here is one more short video interview about my books.

Here is a link to a talk (video) I presented on gifted adults to an audience in the Netherlands in April 2020. (one hour)

Here is a link to a 45 minute video/podcast interview of me by Ben Koch from NuMinds Enrichment. June 2020.

Here is a link to yet another 45 minute podcast with David Greenwood of Overcoming Distractions. August 2020

This is a 45 minute interview with the Unleash Monday podcast based in Switzerland. September 2020.

Here is a short radio interview from The Lisa Show on BYU radio. November 2020. It starts after a couple of minutes of other information.

Next is an hour long podcast interview with Our Gifted Kids and Sophia Elliott based in Australia recorded in March 2022.

This is an hour long podcast interview of me from the Netherlands. July 2022. We talk about rainforest minds, a bit about gifted kids, and if you stay to the end we get up close and personal!

(The following interview is part of the Empaths, Sensitives & Intuitives Summit a free online event. For more information, please visit https://evolvedempathsummit.com. This recording is a copyright of The Shift Network. All rights reserved.)

This is an hour long interview with The Shift Network in 2021.

If you’d like to get in touch with me privately or if you’d like more details about either my counseling or consulting, please fill out the contact form below. Thank you.

87 responses to “ABOUT / CONTACT”

Leave a Comment

  1. Rocky Avatar

    So glad I found your blog! 🙂

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Me, too! Thanks, Rocky. Stay in touch. Let me know your questions and your thoughts.

  2. mphinton Avatar

    Thank you so much, Paula. I am a little overwhelmed after reading all of your posts in one sitting. I will definitely be sharing your blog with all of my rainforest friends and family members.

    With sincere gratitude (and joy, and a big hug),
    Mary Pat

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Thank you for letting me know. Hugging you back! 🙂

  3. BasicallyBeyondBasic Avatar

    So I just googled something about multiplication and a post from your blog showed up on Google and I was reading it and saying, “yes, this is very similar to what I’ve gone through…” and then I started looking around and I was led here, where I read your About Page and was like “This person seems like I great blogger!” and then I scrolled down and saw I was already here back in June – so funny how stuff like that happens! You’re blog has really grown since the last time I was here! Weird dejavu moment for me. 🙂

    1. paulaprober Avatar

      Glad you found me again!

  4. Joseph Ayo-Vaughan Avatar

    I just came across your blog early this morning and read all of it. I cannot seem to get over the fact that you know all this about rainforest-minded people. I don’t understand how you knew people like this existed. Now I’m thinking everyone is like this, but at the same time I know not everyone is like this. How could you be certain when you have said yourself that you identify as partially rainforest-minded. How were you so sure that people would identify with this idea of a rainforest mind? Did you ever believe you were making all this up in your head? I’m convinced of the authenticity of a rainforest mind but I want to understand how you became so sure; what were you looking for? Were you even looking? How did you put all your findings together and compose this conclusion? Perhaps an autobiography is on the way? Because until this morning, I thought I would never find another person like me. So many questions Paula. You have gained a fan.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Oh Joseph! I love your questions. The short answer is “I’ve met a bunch of them.” (Lucky me.) The longer answer is that my first career was in teaching (6th grade) and colleagues told me that my teaching style would work well for gifted kids. I didn’t know what a gifted kid was at the time but I ended up getting a teaching job working with gifted middle schoolers. Then, when I was 39, I got my counseling degree and decided to specialize in working with the gifted because I’d learned by then that they had particular differences that could make life challenging in ways that most people wouldn’t understand. Somewhere in there I thought of the analogy of the rain forest to describe giftedness. People were so uncomfortable with the word ‘gifted,’ I needed to find a better way to explain it. I really have to admit that I love the metaphor! It just fits in so many ways. I wasn’t sure that people would identify with it, but, it seems they have.

      I started the blog a year ago because I needed to find some sort of creative outlet. And I wanted to reach a larger audience. Blogging seems to fit my writing style well (it’s fun) and I’m so happy to be able to provide you rainforest-minded darlings with some help and some hope.

      So there’s my autobiography! Another version is on my website: http://www.rainforestmind.com. But it says most of what I’ve written here. Very happy to have you as a fan. Please continue to ask your questions.

  5. Michael Avatar

    Wait how do I fix it, how do I stop ? How can I first just enjoy living with one focus without a multitude of projects. I already take Adderall and I still have 7 project around the house not including the ones on my truck or my full time job in sales, or the business I launched last year but haven’t done anything with or…

    Ok, sorry I wrote this and it took nearly an hour for me to build up the courage to send it.

    I’m Michael I thought I was smart I took and IQ test sometime ago and got a decent 165. But, I think it was off or maybe it was the luck of the guess over the math questions. Honestly, though I’ve felt stupid and in constant need of reassurance throughout my life. It possibly stems from middle school when my principle told my mom in front of me, that I was “too stupid to graduate high school and make it into college.” Well needless to say I’ve done both, actually I just barely graduated high school but I graduated college with nearly a 3.0. Actually I had my first poem published in High School “The Sun Rises at Night”, developed a hybrid gas/electric car out of a remote controlled car in electronics class in 1994/1995, graduated the fire academy, served 8 years in the military, worked as a writer, film producer and sports producer, machinist, broker, seller, account manager, customer service manager, started numerous businesses such as (3rdpartyseller.com) and well countless other avenues. This is not to say that I’ve ever stuck around long enough to do anything with them. Oh ya I’ve also learned Russian, Spanish and French to a conversational level as well as basic Chinese and have forgotten nearly it all. So I can definitively say I know my brain doesn’t function like “normal” people, one because I can learn something to an expert level then forget completely about it moving on to something else. I can’t seem to settle on a career. In fact I walked away (like walked out on) a job last year with the Government that took nearly two years to get. I was finishing up the polygraph and just decided I’d catch an earlier flight home, I was bored with it I had just accepted the position but heck it’d been two years I was ready to move on. Obviously there where several other things ie: my wife had some major issues as well as my father at the time just being diagnosed with cancer.

    Here’s the deal my wife and I are expecting our first child a little baby girl and honestly I’m scared to death. I don’t want her to go through these same struggles as I have. I don’t want my “multipotentiality” as you say to affect my abilities to be a great father. I don’t want that same multi-projected mind to be afraid of being trapped in a career or field that I hate, as I am now. I guess I’m just writing this to hear my own thoughts, because I’ve tried so many things and had so many different successes in many different fields but with a rainforest mind comes financial instability. I came to understanding of loving to learn new things that this is just who I am as a man but soon it will no longer be just my wife and myself. I will be a father, a protector, a shoulder, a provider, a point of comfort, love, acceptance, and joy. All while still trying to find my career, the point of center that allows me at least a portion of happiness in my daily job. How do I balance cutting down my trees to provide while still nourishing my soil. Maybe I just need to “grow up peter pan” and stop learning computer programing at night, I need to give up the idea of working for myself and just conform to just one.
    Is that possible?

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Michael. I’m so glad you found the courage to write and send this. I’ll share a few thoughts with you. First, if you haven’t yet, read through my blog. You ought to find some answers in the other posts and in the resources. I’d recommend that you read The Gifted Adult by Jacobsen and Refuse to Choose by Sher. The book by Sher addresses multipotentiality specifically. You might start with that one. Also, Free Range Humans is good. I appreciate your desire to be responsible as you become a father. It might mean that you find a career path that will provide a steady income and has enough variety and intellectual stimulation so you stay interested. And you don’t need to stay in one career all of your life. Lots of people make career changes later in life. So you don’t have to feel trapped in a job that doesn’t feel just right. You can also find ways to get stimulation outside of your job through other activities that allow you to nurture more of your interests. Thanks for sharing and for reading my blog! Welcome.

    2. Alessandra Avatar

      A decent 165?!?! Wow
      The average is 100, just so you know 🙂

  6. Lex Avatar

    I am so happy i found this blog… my hubby and kids think I’ve lost it (not new fir them) because i am sitting here laughing and crying all at the same time. Trying not to overwhelm myself and obsess over your blog 🙂 can you point me to an entry that may help me finally get my stuff together? My mind and my house are currently unorganized and i need, NEED, to get it together.

    Thank you so very much

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Welcome Lex! I don’t think I’ve written a post on how to get organized. I’ll have to think about that one. But, hopefully, there will be some tips here and there that’ll help. I’ve only been writing my blog for about 2 years and there are only about 70 posts so you might be able to get through all of them before your family starts complaining!

  7. […] A guest post by Paula Prober, LPC […]

  8. […] Review:  Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, by Paula Prober, M.Ed. and licensed […]

  9. Fiach Avatar

    Can you explain “rainforest mind”?

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Here’s my very first post that explains the metaphor: https://yourrainforestmindbbwpc.wpcomstaging.com/2014/03/29/welcome-to-your-rainforest-mind/ Thanks for asking.

  10. Kierstin Avatar

    YES!!! All of it! Thank you! I’m 50 and have 3 degrees in 3 different disciplines. This describes equally my strengths and abilities, as well as my challenges. Looking forward to reading the book.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Good to hear from you Kierstin. Thank you. I hope you enjoy my book!

  11. K. Avatar

    Thank you Paula, for creating this wonderful blog. I will be sure to read over some of your articles in-depth! I have always felt different, always more inquisitive than other students, constantly thinking, questioning, thinking about ideas in a critical manner, constantly seeking creativity. Yet, I do feel rather lonely sometimes socially since it is difficult to connect with ost people ordinary plane. Sometimes I am never sure how to connect with people emotionally; emotional intelligence is potent. Yet, I find it a rarity when I connect with someone that understands my odd humor and critical intellect and creativity. I expend a lot of time in solitude and it does get lonely. I am 26, female, and it can be difficult being gifted — I guess one should lower their expectations of others. If you have any wealthy of advice and tips on how to grapple loneliness and alienation please feel free to reply here or e-mail. Thank you once again and I look forward to following your blog!

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      I’m glad you found my blog, K. I’ve written a few posts on loneliness. If you look at the home page and type “loneliness” or “lonely” or “friends” into the search engine, the posts ought to come up. And in each post there will be links to other posts. Thanks for writing!

  12. K. Avatar

    I found the article on loneliness and bookmarked it. Will read it soon then! Thank you, Paula!

  13.  Avatar

    I myself do not have a rainforest mind, but I am married to one, and at least one of my children has one as well. I also teach students with rainforest minds in grades 2-8 in a rural school district. I try to offer resources to parents, and I often find very helpful information here. I have also shared some of your posts with my fellow teachers to help them understand their rainforest students. Thank you for all you do to help people.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Thank you for letting me know. And thanks for sharing my posts!

  14. Bettina Vanessa Avatar

    Hi there!

    I just finished reading your book. Loved it – thank you for writing it.
    A question I have that’s come up for me when hearing about being gifted is the following. When I heard about being gifted for the first time last semester my first thought was “Oh, cool! This is the sciency term for what I have always called an ‘old soul'”… have you ever heard this? Does this ring true?


    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      I haven’t seen anyone writing about this but it’s occurred to me that if, in fact, reincarnation exists, then, it makes sense that people with these gifted traits may have lived many lifetimes! It would be one way to explain the levels or empathy, intuition, intellect, and resilience. Actually, I think I may mention it somewhere in my book. Thanks for the comment, Bettina.

  15. Gailen Avatar

    I am so glad I found this site. I find it difficult to accept my giftedness. I was never very good at school, or was sometimes. I was a long time ago, vibrant as a little kid.
    But, that was long ago. I never thought I was smart. I felt everything and no one in my house did.
    I wont get into the specifics, but I am raising two kids very like myself, and I don’t want to damage them in the same way. I am happy I found your blog. I was always the weird one, marching to my own beat, feeling everything so intensely, thinking I was mentally ill. Trying always,. as a child to help others, the homeless, etc.
    I have severe anxiety and guilt and I just don’t want too any more, it keeps me stuck.
    I no longer dream. I no longer have ambitions and I no longer feel anything like hope.
    I am ready to embrace myself, but I don’t know how.
    Thank You, for your page.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Keep reading, Gailen. Glad you found us.

  16. Teemu Avatar

    Your website and writings have literally saved my life. I really don’t think I’m exaggerating. Thank you. And yes, I took a ridiculous amount of time to overthink the adequacy of this short message, for no reason. Lol

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Ha! This is more than adequate, Teemu. Thank you so much!

  17. Caramel Avatar

    Just a question, do all gifted individuals are physically active? If not all, is it still in the majority of gifted community? And I have a close friend, she is a bit slow in thinking but I know she is actually analysing deeply and takes more time than others. She ask difficult questions, perfectionistic, highly curious and a philosophy freak. But you have said somewhere in your post, that gifted mind works at warp speed, deep and complex. It’s a bit confusing to be sure of one’s giftedness. Can a person with average or higher than average IQ ( not in gifted range ) to be gifted?

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Thanks for the question, Caramel. Even though I describe the rainforest mind as having certain characteristics, there are vast differences, too. By “physically active” do mean fast thinking? There is very often LOTS of thinking but it can be fast or slow and deliberate or anywhere in between. And a person can be fast on one day and slow on the next! I know it’s confusing. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all gifted person. About IQ. It depends. Some people don’t test well or are anxious during tests or overthink the questions or may be from a different culture than the test designer, so may not score in the gifted range. They still might be gifted. IQ is only one way to measure giftedness.

  18. Hemani Avatar

    Thank you so much Paula for sharing your knowledge with us! I have gained a much deeper understanding of myself and glad to know there are others as well. Certainly a life changing moment for me 🙂

  19. […] Thought this very reassuring, supporting, empowering read merits sharing. Thanks, Paula! […]

  20. Bianca Avatar

    Wow, so nice to finally find similar people, after 27 years of life. People dont know what to do with us–we are like those divergent people from that movie. So glad to have found your blog. I appreciate all the time you have spent on us RFM it’s so hard for us to understand ourselves! That being said, I’m on the other side of the country…how to become a client of yours hmmmm….it would be so cool if you offered a course or something of that sort. <3

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      I do think about offering an online course, Bianca. But haven’t gone beyond the thinking stage! I’m glad you’ve found my blog, though. Maybe getting my book would be a next step??

  21. Mike Avatar

    Hello, Paula! I came across your site while searching about for information that tries to explain me–how I tick, what makes me see the world as I (we) do, etc. Clearly, you GET US! I admit that I’m not really comfortable with termed as ‘gifted” adult, but what you describe is truly me (our community!). Yes, over the years I’ve done all the personality inventories…INTJ, etc, etc., but RFM seems to explain it well, both the positives and challenges. It also seems that we are more prone to mood disorders and/or anxiety. I can also strongly relate the challenge of feeling satisfied in a career track: get bored quickly once I learn it; always striving for more and better, and so on. The ‘multi-potential’ term seems most fitting. I remember being told that in high school! I’ve also been labeled as unfocused, never satisfied, overly analytical, and the like. I’ll keep peeling back this onion.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Hi Mike! Happy to have you here. Keep peeling. 🙂

  22. Another Rain-forest Mind Avatar

    Hi Paula
    My friend introduced me to this website. Thanks for posting all useful materials online. I’ve just bought your book and I can’t wait to read it.
    Giftedness can be a curse if we don’t address the needs accordingly. I’ve been experiencing it now.
    Keep up the good work! You’re helping many people who have been needing that support.

  23. totalkistobe Avatar

    Hi Paula, just wanted to take a minute to appreciate the fact that you reply to everyone, on every post. You know you don’t have to, yet, given every possible variable – the rainforest minds of your readers, your work as a psychotherapist, your role as an educator, etc. – you choose to. I think that’s awesome and the difference you make feels that much more tangible. We spoke last year and you were kind enough to email me back then too. Your blog has served as my digital emotional support puppy for a while now and I am dropping in to say thank you again. Sending love and blessings.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Oh, thank you, totalkistobe. I’m so happy my blog is your “digital emotional support puppy.” I love that! I do try and respond to most comments as a way to connect more deeply. Sometimes I worry that if my blog gets more popular, I won’t be able to keep up. But so far, so good. Sending love back to you.

  24. Iva Turzo Avatar

    Thank you a lot for the book! What I have been discovering by myself for decades, I read there in a few days. Thank you for the tips. One of the most usefull books in my life!

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Oh, I’m so glad, Iva! Thank you for letting me know. If you can, I’d love a review on Amazon. It can be short! 🙂

  25. Dσяσтну Yαη Avatar

    Just one thing out of nowhere. I noticed how rainforest minds tend to be pretty misunderstood and are the minority in society. some of us (I don’t want to generalize, because in my case. I got so used to being alone, I embraced it.) feel even more lonely or overwhelmed in a room full of people. So, this brings to my point. If I create a discord server for people with RFM. Would anyone of you join?

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      What is a discord server?

      1. Dσяσтну Yαη Avatar

        Discord is basically digital platform for people to communicate with their interests. It is similar to Facebook’s messenger. But it can be sorted into different roles, and categories for people to talk to. It is more organized social media texting platform with the ability to voice call and video chat. (If you want, would you prefer to continue this conversation by email?)

          1. Dσяσтну Yαη Avatar

            Can I please have you email, for this purpose?

            1. Paula Prober Avatar

              Dorothy. Did I ever respond to this? My email is paula@rainforestmind.com. So sorry if I missed this.

              1. Dσяσтну Yαη Avatar

                Yes, you did respond to me already.

              2. Dσяσтну Yαη Avatar

                Although technically speaking, you kinda left me hanging on the last email.. if you have time, can you respond to it?

                1. Paula Prober Avatar

                  I don’t know where your last email is, Dorothy. So sorry! Can you send it again?

  26. […] anything like me. And I’m sure Paula has her own rainforest mind as well. But that’s her own story Need a little nagging to get those awesome books? Check out this amazing book review on […]

  27. Arcadia Page Avatar

    Hi Paula! I just wanted to express appreciation for all of your kind blog posts and amazing resources.

    Specifically, I found the quote you posted from Anne Lamott life-changing— “If you’re paying attention and making your own life as beautiful and rich and fun as it can be, you might just attract someone who’s doing the same thing.”

    Once I read that, I moved my focus from being worried about isolation and people “not getting me” to making my own life beautiful. And as a result I’ve felt much happier and more at peace with myself and with the relationships in my life. Thank you so much for sharing what you know! I’m always looking forward to your posts.

  28. FE Avatar

    Hello Paula,

    I wish I had found out about you when I was still living in the states, for I could have needed your expertise. I myself am a typical underachiever who had a rather tumultous educational and professional life and I really have no idea how to proceed from here. That being said, I have just recently found your blog as well as your FB-page and I am beyond exhilarated that I can at least get a glimpse into what I could accomplish, if I had the appropriate resources available. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope in all of this chaotic whirlwind that is my existence.

    I owe you a lot of gratitude for your hard work.


    “A German fan”

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      There is definitely hope, German fan! It’s never too late. Glad you found me. 🙂

  29. Alice Coursier Avatar

    Hi, Paula. I relate to most of what you say about the RFM. A few days ago, I sent you a private message through the contact form. I suppose it doesn’t require a response, as I’m unsure if I even asked you a direct question. However, I want to be sure you got it, if that’s okay. I’m guessing you get quite a few. In future, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions, if I may, so wanted to be sure that method worked. Warmest wishes, Alice.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Hi Alice. I did get your email. It didn’t look like you needed a response. And, yes, I do get a lot of emails so it can take me a while to respond. But I do try to get back to everyone. Occasionally, an email gets lost so I encourage people to write again if they don’t hear from me after a few weeks. Thanks!

      1. Alice Coursier Avatar

        Good to know all of that, and thank you. 🙂

  30. Niyome Bello Avatar

    Hi Paula! Thank you for responding to my email. As I mentioned, I work with gifted children and I love your blog…it’s a tremendous resource. Thank you for everything you do to support beautiful Rainforest Minds. With your permission, I also wanted to share some information about my school and our new distance learning program.

    Revo Academy, a unique gem in progressive and gifted learner education, is taking our project based and design thinking curriculum to distance learners nationwide. Using both collaborative and individual learning approaches, Revo’s distance learning school creates a purposeful and cohesive classroom experience, with a core emphasis on meaningful connection.

    The following is a link to our flier Revo Academy Gifted Distance Learning School and interest form https://forms.gle/Uvj8Np5McG3SSFGY8.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Thank you, Niyome. Your program looks fascinating.

  31.  Avatar

    Hello Paula, I came across your “quiz” for rainforest minded people when I was essentially trying to find information to support my 19 year old, diagnosed gifted son. He struggles with a lot of the challenges you have specified (especially loneliness, uncertainty about the future, feeling “too” much” and “not enough” at the same time, indecisiveness about a career path and many more). Interestingly, as I continued to read through the post and then watched some of your recent webinar, I was struck that many of these characteristics also apply to me. Now, you need to understand, that I have NEVER considered myself gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. I struggled in public school, barely passing each grade. I recall sitting in parent teacher meetings with my parents essentially being told I would have a hard time graduating from high school let alone go to university. My peers even labelled me as “dumb”. I struggled socially and struggled to make friends and always felt like I was stupid. I did graduate and I did go to university and ultimately gained a masters degree, but I have ALWAYS felt like an imposter. In my field, I am considered highly knowledgeable and it causes me great stress because I’m sure someone will call me out and the whole world will eventually realize that I am faking it. I’ve been married to my husband for 28 years and he is also gifted, though more conventionally so. he was recognized as “bright” all through school, whereas I was not, so I have always felt intellectually inferior to him. He and my son have conversations about quantum physics that I absolutely cannot relate to and this often makes me feel stupid.

    The aspects of giftedness that I relate to the most is the sensitivity, the feeling of being misunderstood, the overthinking, the search for beauty and meaning, the feeling of emptiness and loneliness (even within a 30+ year relationship that by most standards is a good one), the deep empathy for others (that is crippling at times when it comes to people I care about), and the desire for social justice. I have been on a lifelong search to understand what it is about me that is “different” and have never considered giftedness as part of the picture. And I could totally be barking up the wrong tree, because I honestly don’t consider myself exceptionally bright. I’m not even sure if it would change anything if I knew this about myself, except that maybe it would bring me some peace of mind. I’ve recognized similarities between my son and I for many years, but I’ve just always thought that he got my husbands intelligence and my sensitivity.

    Do I have a question? I’m not sure. I guess I just don’t know whether pursuing a diagnosis would even be worth it, or if there are things I can just incorporate into my life that will help me regardless of a diagnosis. I don’t really care about the label per se, I just want to know why true happiness eludes me when I have everything I should desire to be content in my life. I’ve always just labelled my issue as “anxiety”, but that does not explain everything. Thank you for the work you do. My hope is that my son can come to understand and appreciate himself much earlier in his life than I have been able to. He is truly an exceptional human and it breaks my heart that he feels misunderstood and like he will never find another person (aside from his poor old mom) that really gets him. I have sent him a link to your webinar and your book.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      Keep reading my blog and books, anonymous. You will see how some (many?) RFMs didn’t do well in school. How they have felt like impostors. Your “diagnosis” can just come from reading and seeing how much it resonates for you. School may have been a struggle, also, if you are twice-exceptional. So you might do a little research about that. Glad you found me!

  32. Thomas Avatar

    Hello Paula,
    I ‘m doing these days interviews for a job and I feel misunderstood again , I found you on highly senstive refuge , someone has mentionned your name , I went on your website and after just 5 minutes of reading your profile , I bought your book. I,m so happy that people like you can help people like me.

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      I’m so happy you found my blog and my book! Welcome, Thomas. I am glad you are here.

  33. […] ABOUT / CONTACT […]

  34. Jessica Avatar

    It’s 2022 and hope you are still around!!! All other comments are from 2014 🙃

    1. Paula Prober Avatar

      I am still around, Jessica. If you look at recent posts, there are recent comments and replies!

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